All the world’s a crooked clock,
That's what time has come to be.
Where verbal tics of when we talk
Spur us forward clumsily.
See this man; his moving hands
Will circle back when all is done.
And so his hourglass’s sands
Serve no purpose as they run.
But what is this before our love?
-Our love of lust and thrill.
To seize what happiness we can
And pray that time stands still.
But time will not stand idly by
For our utopic frozen frame.
And so we’ll mourn it when it dies,
Then wish for more the same.
Time will turn and traipse away
Unwinding quick the mortal coil
Grab all you can, but it can’t stay!
When you depart into the soil.
Glorious gluttony beckons
Reveling in what once was
Humankind goes back four seconds,
Clock gears gnashing time to dust.
All this will change, no thing preserved,
No world nor heart nor rhyme.
This fleeting fate is thus deserved
By those who would stop time.
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Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking poem concerning how ephemeral and short our life really is and how we as mortal humans strive to fight against its bitter reality.
I like the rhyming scheme of abab and its use of tetrameter and an occasional trimeter at stanza's end. The rhyming is excellently accomplished in a seemingly effortless way that enhances meaning. The one deviation can be easily fixed.
Suggestion
The following stanza throw's the poem's rhythm off by shifting from four beats per line, or tetrameter to three beats per line-or trimeter..
Glorious gluttony beckons
Reveling in what once was
Humankind goes back four seconds,
Clock gears gnashing time to dust.
The following stanza temporarily abandons the rhyme scheme.
But what is this before our love?
-Our love of lust and thrill.
To seize what happiness we can [we must] is acceptable off rhyme.
And pray that time stands still.
Not quite sure that aspiring to live longer or not to die at all constitutes a just reason to punish us with death.
Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you in any way, I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)
This was well written (Probably spelt that wrong, oh well!)
"And so his hourglass’s sands
Serve no purpose as they run." I'm not sure if you meant to say 'hands' or 'sands', either way it works.
From what I can see you don't have any grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.