Deep Down

by Rook

Oh let me dig
Down.
Deep.
To the darkness no one sees.
Oh let me dig
Down.
Deep.
And uproot this fear in me.

Enfold me, Entrench me
in the blackest soil,
the darkest earth.
Forsake me, Forget me,
for I am gone--
returned to the place of all birth.

Oh let me dig
Down.
Deep.
Where the darkness and all are one.
Oh let me dig
Down.
Deep.
There's no moon, no stars, no sun.

This dirt builds up;
it's under my nails.
This dirt builds up,
this earthen jail.
This dirt builds up.
Oh I can tell,
This dirt that builds up
will be my hell.

Oh let me dig,
Down.
Deep.
And there, just let me be.
Oh let me dig,
Down.
Deep.
And let my soul go free.

Although my body is entombed
The soil heals all inner wounds.

For as we all know....

Not all scars are physical.

Comments & reviews · 5
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In one word I can describe this poem... SPECTACULAR!!! The imagery alone makes you feel like you are in a wooden box being lowered into the cold ground. I like how in the poem you switch "Deep. Down" to "Down. Deep." switching it up, which is awesome.

"Oh I can tell,
This dirt that builds up,
will be my hell."

That was very nice, after that you can tell what the story behind the poem is. I don't know if you are actually talking about being buried alive or something along those lines or if you are using the dirt as a metaphor for the problems you are facing in life, but regardless I loved it!
Keep writing, you are awesome!!!

User avatar
qmj
Review
qmj wrote a review · Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:36 pm

Hi fortis, just here to give my insight on this poem which is very good by the way. It awoke a deep feeling of enclosure inside me which i guess is what you were going for. The poem is a strong emotional piece and i like the second stanza the most.The repetition didn't work for me but i assume it was added for effect. Great poem anyway and keep writing!!!!

User avatar
DreamWork
Review

Hi fortis, you're my favorite poet(ess). You cursed me again with your latest poem.
Your poem is truly unique in terms of thoughts and writing to explain the reality with abstract language.your poem represent ideas, intangibles, and concepts such as "beauty" and "truth" to convey an emotion, instead of relying on the meanings of words.

Oh let me dig
Down.
Deep.
And uproot this fear in me.
~Not all scars are physical.

Overall, it can be understood even though written in symbolism / similarities between the fantasy and reality.
Enfold me, Entrench me
in the blackest soil,
the darkest earth.

Forsake me, Forget me,
for I am gone--
returned to the place of all birth.

I imagined this part with fantasy where I was embedded in the ground and feel the darkness between them.It looks ridiculous (in reality) but actually the poetess is trying to convey that she was dead instead of 'dig a hole for (her) in the blackest soil'?
Very dark poem, actually frightening but you write with diction that makes it analogous to a serenity in the darkness of the earth. Good job! Keep it up.
Kudos,cheers :)

This is amazing!! I love your use of repetition throughout, it makes it incredibly powerful. The way you have things placed is really great to, it reads kind of choppy- yet in a good way, and it is constant. I feel like this is something I'd want to read over and over when I'm feeling angry. Its just incredibly strong. One thing that threw me off a little was the end, although I can understand how it could be effective. It doesn't go with the flow of the rest of the poem, yet that makes it stand out; which could of course be intentional.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this. Keep writing :)

WOOOWW!!! This isn't a review, so all I want to say is that I thought is was amazingly powerful, I loved it :)



For in everything it is no easy task to find the middle ... anyone can get angry—that is easy—or give or spend money; but to do this to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive, and in the right way, that is not for everyone, nor is it easy; wherefore goodness is both rare and laudable and noble.
— Aristotle