Young Writers Society

This was a really short but meaningful poem. It curves to the many different ways of murder, and just reaches out and grabs the viewer and says 'look, if you got to say something, just do it right and dont mess around'. To me this shows you are having problems with people and just want them to come out with it. If im wrong, am sorry But yea, this was a really good poem

This is typically about a person asking a stranger to kill him which is why it is called Death Wish, there were some indications in the about too but I guess no one noticed. This is probably the most obscure one I ever made because the message doesn't seem to be reflected the way I want it. But anyway, thanks for finding time to read this piece.

Hello roshan,

I'm hanorah.
I really liked your poem it was very good!
It was nice and short and very interesting
The only thing I have to say is maybe write aim for my head if you have a gun. Like aim for my head,if you have a gun. Anyway I really liked this poem 10/10!
Well done!

Hi there, Rosan!

barefootrunner here with a short review for a short poem.

Title: Concise and precise, like the poem.

Lineation and stanzas: Good. Very short, sharp and blocked. It reflects the message and atmosphere of the poem, and invites the reader to dive in with its simple build.

Rhyme and figures of speech: Very little to say here. The rhyme is simple and sharp. I don't usually like such prominent, simplistic rhyme, but in this case the simple scheme and harsh sounds really function in the context of the poem. Perhaps a bit of alliteration or metaphor might help in this poem -- I find it very dry. This message could have been expressed with equal simplicity as prose. The magic of poetry is that it uses something different than just plain words to deeply embed a message in a reader's memory and thoughts, so try making this a bit more striking with some poetic devices.

Style and intention: The last line of the first stanza is slightly archaic in tone with the reversed word order to make the rhyme scheme work. Rather avoid twisting your sentence and use a different rhyme or word -- what you have at the moment feels like it is corrupting the purity of the rhyme scheme. Otherwise, the simple, direct vocabulary and dry style works very well.

The third line of the last stanza also tugs at me. The "try not to hear" makes it sound as though the narrator is no longer trying to sound tough and devil-may-care, but rather pleading to be killed. It is coupled with the second line of the last stanza, which is longer and more unwieldy, so the reader slows down just there, and it weakens the poem's structure. Replace it with some more harsh vocabulary, something like 'shut out' or 'ignore' (not that either these options fit in with the rhythm of the poem).

Overall, good material. Very simple and emotive, it speaks directly to the reckless, primitive part of the brain.

Well done

Hello here is a very unlucky little squirrel with nothing but a shield a soot of armor a very short sword and not much else to defeat this mighty poem.

OK this kinda is not making any sense to me

Take out your dagger
in my chest you shall thrust

If you carry a gun aim at my head

Aim for my head
if you carry a gun.