To my Parents

by Rosan

  • Poetry
  • Other

Published April 15, 2013

12+

In Random Things to See

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When I was still a helpless child
you’ve never regarded me.
I did mischief and acted wild
to be your first priority.
 
But no matter how hard I tried,
you’ve never looked my way.
Even when I tripped and cried
there’s nothing you would say.
 
Still, I hoped you'd learn to love
the child who shares your blood;
I, who always gave you love
even if you've dragged through mud.

And after ten tormenting years
I bid you all goodbye.
I left my home, my folks, my peers
without a tear to cry.
 
I faced the world on my own
with nothing but my pride.
I was a fool, I should have known
you were never on my side.
Comments & reviews · 5
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therealme
Comment
therealme commented Comment · Apr 18, 2013

:( nicely written.

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justinking789 Review
justinking789 wrote a review Review · Apr 16, 2013

I have to agree with everyone, the poem was full of emotion. The rhymes were good and for the most part the amount of syllables in each line were good aswell.

Overall:

Awesome poem, you have a talent for writing :D

Favorite Part:

"I faced the world on my own
with nothing but my pride.
I was a fool, I should have known
you were never on my side."

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ChimeraMania
Review
ChimeraMania wrote a review Review · Apr 15, 2013

I've never really written poetry before and if I have yours was way better.

I too agree with GrapeNerd the 'dragged through mud' part, but i see that you tried to get it to rhyme with the rest. It looks like you were trying to say 'you've dragged me through mud' if so I understand, why you put it in there.

And it does have a lot of emotion and I like it over all.


ChimeraMania
ChimeraMania replied · Apr 15, 2013

love the butterfly by the way

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GrapeNerd
Review
GrapeNerd wrote a review Review · Apr 15, 2013

Wow! I really like this! I love how you put so much emotion in this! Though, I have to agree with Nargles, some lines were a bit out of the rhythm.

I have to admit, I didn't find any flaw while reading this! Your grammar is great and so is your punctuation, and the wording, oh my goodness, it is awesome! Though, I didn't quite get the whole "dragged through mud" thing.

This was really good and full of emotion. The words were well put together, and the ending was amazing. I really like this. Keep writing!

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Nargles
Review
Nargles wrote a review Review · Apr 15, 2013

Wow!
I really like this, it's sad and full of emotion. Good job!

The only thing which I think can be worked on is there are times when it doesn't flow and it is a bit jagged, does that make sense?

I suggest just taking out a few words and rewording bits and pieces.

Overall this is really good and you've done a good job.

Nargles xxx



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