Lady

by Rosan

Published April 16, 2013

In Random Things to See

Her eyes are crystal blue
with a captivating hue.
Her hair is golden-red,
each strand as fine as thread.
 
She wears a smooth silk dress
like that of an empress.
Accompanied by pearls
and lustrous locks of curls.
 
The dukes, the earls and emperor
who tried to make her theirs,
were faced with bloody terror
when she pushed them off the stairs.
 
She poisoned every suitor
with very lethal herbs.
Even her own home tutor
who was teaching her proverbs.
 
Never did she face judgment
even to her last breath.
But she was forced atonement
by the lord upon her death.
Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
BraidenEllis
Review
BraidenEllis wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2016

Heyo, Braiden here for a review on Review Day!

Okay, so this poem was awesome. It had a great story behind it and it was just plain savage. My thoughts when reading it were: "Okay, there's a beautiful girl... she has many suitors... oh crap, she killed them... OH CRAP SHE KILLED THE OTHERS TOO; SHE'S KILLING EVERYONE."

Never did she face judgment
even to her last breath.
But she was forced atonement
by the lord upon her death.


Such a great ending, if I do say so myself. It had a really intense wording to give it the emphasis of her independence that was the point of the whole poem. Fantastic job.

Keep wring! You're great at it!

~Braiden

User avatar
glovegg
Review
glovegg wrote a review Review · May 15, 2013

*gulps* That wasn't slightly frightening at all, even then, I enjoyed reading it very much. Its haunting, but beautifully interesting. I can easily tell the timeline of when this is, her character as a human being, how pretty she is, how she looks. Please keep writing more, because this is quite fascinating. :)

User avatar
storyisking
Review
storyisking wrote a review Review · Apr 16, 2013

Ohh, I really like this - the flow you have is excellent, and I just love the idea behind the poem (it sounds like the "lady" is actually a villainess? That's one of my biggest kinks tbqh).

My only critcism is:

The dukes, the earls and emperor

who tried to make her theirs.

Were faced with bloody terror

when she pushed them off the stairs.

After the "theirs", I don't think should there be a period. It just interrupts the flow which is almost near perfect.

This is a good poem, nice work! Short and quick to the point, but sometimes that is better.



My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.
— Bishop Desmond Tutu