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140,799 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Thanks Everyone!
Hi there!
What a cute poem! I'm sorry if I offended you by calling it cute, most people don't like it. But I really do think it's cute! It's written so simple and wonderful that I can't help but love it. Remember, simple isn't bad; simple just means there is more room to tell a story and wow people who think it's going to be lame because it's simple.
I feel stupid saying this, but when I read the title, I had no idea that it would be about April fool's day. I mean, what else could be a day of trickery? It makes perfect sense now. I do like how you keep that until the end, making the reader guess at what you are talking about.
Your rhymes are great. The only thing I have to say about that is that if you're going to rhyme, rhyme all or none of the lines. I don't mean keep the same rhyme, but you end up rhyming the second and fourth lines in a stanza, but not the first and third. This messes with the flow, creating a break in the rhyme scheme. Maybe you should find a way to rhyme the first lines in each stanza with the third lines in each stanza. Then the poem will flow better. Just a suggestion.
Overall this is a good poem. I don't see any spelling or grammar issues here so good job with that. I really love this poem! It's so cute! Did I say that already?
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
That was amazing! I love how you Make the poem sound dark, but then you spin t make. April Fools day! I love the rhyme scheme and the stanzas, overall very well written. Stanza six was a bit confuse, try t make the overall point of that more clear. That's about it, great work!
That was great! I love how lighthearted this poem is. I also enjoyed the ominously playful (wow, that's an oxymoron) outlook on April Fool's day.
I hope to read more of your work!
However, I think Stanza 2, lines 3 and 4 might be a bit over-dramatic, because it implies that your family smirks at bad things that happen to you. I'd recommend maybe specifying that they smirk at the pranks pulled on you. Also, "extreme" is misspelled in stanza 1. That's okay; I make typos pretty often!
Great job! I enjoyed this poem.