Day of Trickery

by Rosan

Published March 27, 2013

E - Everyone

In Random Things to See

Beware of the day
when people scheme,
when they plot and plan
to the extreme.
 
When even your friends
turn into foes,
and your family smirks
at your downs and lows.
 
When you walk the streets
or at home you stay,
there is no safe place,
they will come your way.
 
I'm warning you,
look for the signs.
Don't lock yourself in
and look through the blinds.
 
Don't let your guard down,
prepare for the day.
It's closing in,
just a few nights away.
 
Try your best,
don't look like a fool.
Pass the test,
you'll be somewhat cool.
 
You're on your own,
that's all I can say.
One last hint,
it's April fool's day.
Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Rosan
Comment
Rosan commented Comment · Apr 2, 2013

Thanks Everyone!

User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2013

Hi there!

What a cute poem! I'm sorry if I offended you by calling it cute, most people don't like it. But I really do think it's cute! It's written so simple and wonderful that I can't help but love it. Remember, simple isn't bad; simple just means there is more room to tell a story and wow people who think it's going to be lame because it's simple.

I feel stupid saying this, but when I read the title, I had no idea that it would be about April fool's day. I mean, what else could be a day of trickery? It makes perfect sense now. I do like how you keep that until the end, making the reader guess at what you are talking about.

Your rhymes are great. The only thing I have to say about that is that if you're going to rhyme, rhyme all or none of the lines. I don't mean keep the same rhyme, but you end up rhyming the second and fourth lines in a stanza, but not the first and third. This messes with the flow, creating a break in the rhyme scheme. Maybe you should find a way to rhyme the first lines in each stanza with the third lines in each stanza. Then the poem will flow better. Just a suggestion.

Overall this is a good poem. I don't see any spelling or grammar issues here so good job with that. I really love this poem! It's so cute! Did I say that already? :)

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

User avatar
bandgeek101
Review
bandgeek101 wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2013

That was amazing! I love how you Make the poem sound dark, but then you spin t make. April Fools day! I love the rhyme scheme and the stanzas, overall very well written. Stanza six was a bit confuse, try t make the overall point of that more clear. That's about it, great work!

SilverAquaTrident wrote a review Review · Mar 27, 2013

That was great! I love how lighthearted this poem is. I also enjoyed the ominously playful (wow, that's an oxymoron) outlook on April Fool's day.
However, I think Stanza 2, lines 3 and 4 might be a bit over-dramatic, because it implies that your family smirks at bad things that happen to you. I'd recommend maybe specifying that they smirk at the pranks pulled on you. Also, "extreme" is misspelled in stanza 1. That's okay; I make typos pretty often!
Great job! I enjoyed this poem. :D I hope to read more of your work!



Of those who say nothing, few are silent.
— Thomas Neill