Three Hundred Sixty Four.
We don’t pause to think
about what happened anymore
The days race by, Count them-
Three Hundred Sixty Four.
There’s only one day
that the world stands still
for two silent minutes
And that’s when the world becomes real.
.
Three Hundred Sixty Four.
A meaningless life
Making you wonder-
Are there any good things left?
But when the whole world is wordless
the colors creep in, lighting up memories,
memories of what happened and why.
In those two hushed minutes,
Our eyes are opened and we see what’s meant to be.
.
Peace.
.
Those who fought, put on brave faces,
Deep inside, they were terrified,
but played their parts in the play called “life”
for honor, glory, and peace-but most of all, freedom.
However,
once the silence is gone
and the noise picks up,
the colors fade.
We are stuck in a colorless, forgetful life for days,
Three Hundred Sixty Four, to be exact.
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,585 Reviews
Wow, this was a moving piece.
"Three Hundred Sixty Four.
There’s only one day
that the world stands still
for two silent minutes
And that’s when the world becomes real."
Your choice of words flows very well, and I also like that it rhymes, which is always a bonus and makes it fun to read. But you still convey your message well, and wow! When I read the above stanza, I was blown away by all of the thoughts and emotions that I had about the "days" that caused the world to stand still. All of those hateful times in our history when man has killed man for selfish purposes.
When a poem can make the reader remember such things, have such emotions, then it is truly poetic. It's the entire purpose of a poem, and you've struck gold with this one.
"once the silence is gone
and the noise picks up,
the colors fade.
We are stuck in a colorless, forgetful life for days,
Three Hundred Sixty Four, to be exact."
It's so sad, that we forget so fast. When something bad happens, everyone's talking about, no one can shut up about it. A week later? It's like it never happened. You've helped me, once again, to remember.
Thank you yubbies21!
Thanks for your review! I actually entered this poem in a Remembrance Day contest. I won first place at the local level, but now its going to regions.
Helloooooo! What I really liked about this poem was that, from the title to the penultimate line, the reader isn't onehundred percent sure what threehundredandsixtyfour (hooray compound word!) means. The message is a beautiful one, and I love the staggered method of conveying it. By the way, deep shouldn't have a capital letter.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!
Hello, Bella here for a review!
Wow, the message of this is really deep. I like the concept of three hundred and sixty four days and just one left. It gives this an desperation, a last, hopeless stand. I especially liked, "but played their parts in the play called life." My only complaint would be that it doesn't have enough flow. It seems a little awkward and broken up. Also, you can't seem to decide whether to rhyme it or not. But otherwise, a great poem! Keep writing!
-Bellator.
Wow...sadish but deep