Young Writers Society

Just wow! The poem is about a serious and very sad topic but this poem wasn't depressing. It made me smile, it was like a ray of hope or the light at the end of the tunnel and its beautiful.

A few suggestions.
in the fourth verse I would not repeat hope twice. Once is fine but twice just feels like a bit to much if you know what I mean.
Also not many people know what the semi colon project is. Maybe instead of saying wear it on my wrist you could say draw? Or bring up that the topic is in fact about self harm by making a subtle reference to scars.

Overall I loved the poem. I love the idea of the semi colon project and this poem fits it so perfectly, keep up the good work!

Hey, Chippy here with a review.

You have an entrancing concept here, it's very true semicolons are love and semicolons are light. Just kidding, but semicolons are a great use in punctuation and can be tricky to use correctly for some. Well done on highlighting the beauty of them in your poem.

However, I do have some suggestions which may be of help to you.

"A semicolon

represents so much more than this

Show it off

wearing it on my wrist"

Even though this was the opening stanza, it felt more like it was one in the middle since it didn't really have that compelling beginning statement for the reader to, read on. When you referenced, "this", it's not clear what exactly "this", is referring to. And I'm not sure as to, how to wear a semicolon on a wrist, is it a tattoo?

"Prove to the world

that life is hard

and dark

and cold."

This stanza felt like a whole different poem. It didn't seem very relevant to semicolons at all. If that is the route you were going for to present semicolons, you should have linked them in somewhere here.

"But I’m not about to let go.

I’m a fighter."

Here, more clarity and elaboration was needed as the sudden reference to "fighter" and not letting go could have been expressed clearer.

"Semicolon

proving that life is not over

there’s always a rainbow after the storm

hope

hope

hope for the future"

This stanza made much more sense, because you linked semicolons in there too. I thought the repetition for hope was not needed as such.

"Semicolon;

it’s a beautiful thing."

I liked that you actually used a semicolon here. But, since this is the same sentence as you closing one, I didn't think it was needed here as a sentence on its own, seeing as its not in any particular stanza.

“Semicolons represent a sentence

an author could have ended,

but chose not to.

.

The author is you and

the sentence is your life.”

This felt like just a quotation, I think you should have made it sound more like poetry.


As an overview, I think you could have thought more out of the box with this and really tap into creativity. Semicolons could have gone into so many directions, you could have had semicolons vs colons, it would be a great humor one. You could have personified semicolons so it is easier to have more imagery and metaphors. You could have included more actual semicolons in to poem also.

Overall, a very nice concept you have here, it has potential too. Keep writing! Hope this review was of help to you.

--Chippy.

#TheFaultInOurReviews

Thewriter13 here for a review!
Ahh semi colons, what a great topic to write about!
I really enjoyed this piece and I really liked the format/style of this poem.
I have a question:

"Semicolons represent a sentence

an author could have ended,

but chose not to.

.

The author is you and

the sentence is your life.”

Are you actually quoting someone in this piece? I'd be curious to know who and why. I'd appreciate the clarification.

I felt one part of this was a bit cliché:
"proving that life is not over

there’s always a rainbow after the storm"
yes I like this imagery/metaphor but I feel you could use something more original.
Anyway well done! I loved it and I want to see more poems like this one!

Hi, J.C. here for a review!

I just finished reviewing another of your poems, and when I began to read this I was a bit worried that it would turn out the same. "Life sucks, so I'll kill myself." But, I was surprised when I got to the end.

Show it off

wearing it on my wrist

Prove to the world

that life is hard

and dark

and cold.

“Semicolons represent a sentence

an author could have ended,

but chose not to.

The author is you and

the sentence is your life.”

I love semi-colons! I read about their grammatical use in second year (which is roughly 8th grade I think) and ever since then I feel so happy when I know exactly how to use it and can help others when they've made a mistake.

I've never noticed this angle before. I liked the way you continued the bit in speech marks over two stanzas (correct me if I'm wrong but I think I learned in Higher that that is called enjambement). But yeah, whatever it was called, it really helped to emphasise the idea of continuation and not ending something just because you could.

My favourite part is:

"Semicolon

proving that life is not over"

because it was there that it clicked for me what you were getting at. It was an epiphany moment and I'm glad you've pointed this out.

Where you call semi-colons beautiful...it's certainly true but beautiful can mean so many things. I was thinking you could maybe use a more specific word to the case. Perhaps something related to the idea of hope or determination.

Well done!