Within the gnarled trunk of an age-old tree
Death’s made his home for countless centuries.
Beside his hearth, kept polished on display,
sits a lethal looking scythe stained in dismay.
.
When a soul is reaped, Death invites them home for tea.
They drink together, they laugh together,
Then death locks them inside a tree.
.
Thousands inhabit the trees of death
While the bodies are buried deep underground
It is here the souls are laid to rest.
Here they’ll stay, for decade upon decade
And because Death is their friend, they’re unafraid.
.
When one of Death’s trees is cut down
The soul released and Death gives a frown
He caught them once, he need not twice
But he’ll give them another chance at life
Only so he may catch them thrice.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Wow. Okay, this was fantastic, really. I never thought of something like this, and it gives me insight. Death has never really been a problem for me or my family, but this had let me though that the ones I have lost before are still out there. It might not be true, but it is a belief. Your writing has actually opened up my mind and changed my perspective.
Not only that, but the whole thing was perfectly written. The rhyme scheme was fantastic and the plot was flawless.
Keep at it, please.
Wow. Okay, this was fantastic, really. I never thought of something like this, and it gives me insight. Death has never really been a problem for me or my family, but this had let me though that the ones I have lost before are still out there. It might not be true, but it is a belief. Your writing has actually opened up my mind and changed my perspective.
Not only that, but the whole thing was perfectly written. The rhyme scheme was fantastic and the plot was flawless.
Keep at it, please.
This is so good!
I really liked this! I was absolutely fascinated by the way you personified death. It was so clever the way you forced the audience to gain a new perspective on such a grave subject. You created an "approachable" entity out of death and I've never quite seen a poem like this. I thought the language you used was appropriate, and the title was fitting. The imagery you provided was great as well.
Overall, this was just such an ingenious way to tackle a grave topic!
~FearlessLove4
Wow, I really liked this! It seemed to give Death a sense of humanity and also sort of made me empathise with him. The way he drinks with the dead, laughs with them and then locks them up as if for safe keeping. And how he becomes their friend, allowing them a chance to leave before taking them again.
I really liked the rhyming in the second stanza, it flowed really well. And the last stanza really stood out to me too, the use of 'once', 'twice' and 'thrice' was very clever.
Great work!
Hello, tulip here to give youa rerview.
This is a wonderful poem, and I fell in love with it within the first stanza. The fact that you make Death something people shouldn't be afraid of makes this even better. I am not afraid if death, and if this were to happen I would smile and go happily.
I see nothing wrong with formatting. I noticed the rhyme scheme and I liked oit. It suited this very very well. The opoem is just the perfect length not to long nor is it to short. The perfect length.
Like I said I cant really find anything wrong with this.
Thanks for the Review
Wow .. this really is very nice
I love the last stanza!