People ask why I say, “I have lost faith in humanity”
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They are blinded from the truth, the hurt, the pain as they sit back on their recliner couches watching the evening news, pausing to quietly say, “It’s such a shame” before they stuff a handful of chips in their face and chug down a silver can of soda
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Such simple and meaningless words do not give justice to the injustice of the world.
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There are people dying, slaving, starving, people who cannot care for themselves, who are homeless, unemployed, or come from broken homes. There are people who will not survive to see what this mess of a world will become tomorrow.
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I have lost faith because there is so much one person could do just by smiling. But instead, you walk the halls to your next class, or down the aisle of the supermarket, or into the office building and all you can see are the colorless faces of a world that has forgotten how to care.
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How to care for the people nearest and dearest to them, for their friends and friendly aquaintances, and for the strangers in need.
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All the world is breathing, but are they really alive?
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I have lost faith in a world that accepts and turns a blind eye to the words, “Everything is okay” and “I’m fine” when we all know and understand that nothing is okay and that person is most definitely not fine.
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Because people hide. Inside themselves and put on an emotionless mask, never reaching out but concealed inside are a thousand untold stories of hate, pain, sorrow, grief, and tragedy. Secrets.
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Death, disease, divorce, disabilities, depression, aggression, self-hate, self-harm, suicide, rape, violence, abuse, anxiety, anorexia, addiction, heartbreak, panic, cancer, war, bulimia, bullying, and a million other stories that people never share.
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Do you ever wonder what the world would be like if we cared and shared and learned from one another?
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If a person could be honest about the raw emotion in the center of their being and tell their story and everyone rallied around them in support.
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If you weren’t judged and were loved for just being yourself.
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If you could be real, would you be different?
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140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Hello, yubbies12! A nice topic you have chosen to write about, something I could sort of agree with. You stated your opinion clearly, and I really like how you brought up all these problems that are huge in the world today, especially divorce, which has become a big thing nowadays.
Here are some things you can fix:
Because people hide. Inside themselves and put on an emotionless mask...-There should be a coma between hide and inside. This was just a simple mistake you made while typing. However, don't make it habit.
In all the other lines except the first two, you included some type of punctuation. Since this is poetry, the rules are light, so this doesn't really matter, however, I feel like since you gave the other lines punctuation, there should be at least periods at the ends of the first two lines.
I liked how you took real world problems and made poetry out of it. I love the last line and would love to see more poetry pieces like this! Great job! ~Prez. T
Hi yubbies21! This is a lovely piece of work. It flows nicely and ends on just the right note. I'm not entirely sure if it's a poem, but who am I to decide? It looks as if it would be difficult to classify.
Some suggestions:
"People ask why I say, "I have lost faith in humanity."
This sounds a bit choppy, I would just cut the why I say and the quotes.
In paragraph four, I would replace or with who.
"If a person could be honest about the raw emotion in the center of their being and tell their story and everyone rallied around them in support."
It's a bit hard to understand what you mean here. I assume you are saying that people should share their emotions, and then they would get support, but it could mean that even if they did, they would not receive understanding. Please clarify.
Besides that, I have nothing to say! Please keep writing, and happy review day!
-ClippedWings
Hello, yubbies12! A nice topic you have chosen to write about, something I could sort of agree with. You stated your opinion clearly, and I really like how you brought up all these problems that are huge in the world today, especially divorce, which has become a big thing nowadays.
Here are some things you can fix:
Because people hide. Inside themselves and put on an emotionless mask...-There should be a coma between hide and inside. This was just a simple mistake you made while typing. However, don't make it habit.
In all the other lines except the first two, you included some type of punctuation. Since this is poetry, the rules are light, so this doesn't really matter, however, I feel like since you gave the other lines punctuation, there should be at least periods at the ends of the first two lines.
I liked how you took real world problems and made poetry out of it. I love the last line and would love to see more poetry pieces like this! Great job! ~Prez. T
Hello. Kanome here with a review c:
This poem makes me feel sad on the inside. You wrote the poem from a troubled person's point of view, which makes this poem seem interesting to read, and let the readers feel how the person thinks.
Just a few nitpicks:
Recliner couches
Recliners are a form of a seat, so I don't think the work couch is needed in this. This is just a suggestion though, so don't take it to heart.
All the world is breathing, but are they really alive?
This sentence seems off...
Maybe it's better like this:
The world is breathing, but is it alive?
Other than that, this poem is amazing. I can see the true potential in you as a writer!
Keep up the great work!
I can't wait to read more, my friend..
Kanome
yuggies21,
I so badly want to save the hurting. When I get older, I want to go to Africa and be a missionary, maybe change a few lives. But right now I'm stuck, I don't know what to do. I've tried fundraisers and volunteered for charities, but I feel like it's never enough. Your poem really hit me hard and I was wondering if maybe you feel the same as me?
I do! I want to work with teens and young adults who have/are struggling with depression, eating disorders, and self harm.
I want to work with sex-slave victims in third world countries.