Look at me now
crumpled on the cold, hard ground
Hiding alone
Searching for a way to go home
Did you really think that words don’t hurt
and only sticks will break my bones?
.
The words that you say
do more than ruin a single day
they cause my heart to fray
Molding me anew like clay
It can change who I am
Leading me on like a little lamb
Washing me away like the sand
Was that was your plan?
.
I’m here now, I’m crying
Can’t you see inside I’m dying?
I need you to see me
Why can’t you hear me?
I’m screaming out your name
But you never hear (You never hear)
You never hear me when I call
.
Look at me now
curled up behind a locked door
Wondering why
Searching for good still inside you
But there’s nothing beautiful left there
Of course not, you don’t even care
.
The words that you say
do more than ruin a single day
they cause my heart to fray
Molding me anew like clay
It can change who I am
Leading me on like alittle lamb
Washing me away like the sand
Was that was your plan?
.
I’m here now, I’m crying
Can’t you see inside I’m dying?
I need you to see me
Why can’t you hear me?
I’m screaming out your name
But you never hear (You never hear)
You never hear me when I call
.
I’m screaming, I’m shouting
at the top of my lungs
on the rooftops
on the cliff’s edge
in the middle of the road
in the hallways
in the courtyard
I’m saying it to your face
But you never hear (You never hear)
But you never hear (You never hear)
You never hear me when I call
You really don’t care, after all
.
The words that you say
do more than ruin a single day
they cause my heart to fray
Molding me anew like clay
It can change who I am
Leading me on like a little lamb
Washing me away like the sand
Was that was your plan?
.
I’m here now, I’m crying
Can’t you see inside I’m dying?
I need you to see me
Why can’t you hear me?
I’m screaming out your name
But you never hear (You never hear)
But you never hear (You never hear)
But you never hear (You never hear)
You never hear me when I call
But you never,
You never,
You never,
You never hear me when call
Because you never cared, after all...
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,585 Reviews
WOW!!! Very impressive. At first i was a little unsure because it had this familiar feeling to it. By the end i no longer had that feeling though so that was neat. I also like that i can relate to this in a few different ways. The fact i can interpret this in multiply ways adds bonus points to the wow factor. You could pursue this and make it pretty far in my opinion, just keep working hard at it.
Hope you enjoy this review/comment.
-Rebels Scream Silently-
This is actually really good
.
Hi my name is Samantha and Happy Review day
I think that this speaks out to me and prehaps other readers because we all have people who made us care about them. People who took our trusting natures and used them to their own advantages. This song to me at least speaks about the hurt that is left behind. Where we care about someone so much only to find out we were used. That the other person who we care so much about didn't actually care about us regardless of how many times they said they did. This is for the people who were told by someone they loved that they wouldn't be left behind only to find out it was all a big lie. No one really knows how much it hurts until it actually happens to them and I believe that you captured that emotion of finding out they didnt actually care so perfectly inside this song
~Sam
This is amazing! I love on how you reflect the word pain, sorrow, agony, love, brokenness and the longing feeling in this song! I would love to hear and listen to this song. Over and over and over and over again! It's a sweet beautiful melody! The pain is way too real, I could like imagine someone crying while singing this beautiful masterpiece! I really love this! I hope you keep up the good work! Someday you will become a good songwriter! and probably a singer if you're planning on too, and if you do, I support you all the way to success! This is just really awesome! Keep up the good work!
Fantastic job for first time lyrics! This is Beautifully written and should be an account if song. Loved the way I interpretted it would go. Radio played Taylor swift all day so I kinda read it with that in the background.
Keep up the good work. I love finding music tAlent in English works.
Hello Yubbies!
First of all, you're piece is pretty impressive for a first attempt so congratulations. This is just my personal opinion so don't take it personally but I think the song is a little too melancholy and depressing. Maybe it's just because I love happy songs than sad songs. This song would be great though for an emo person though.
Good evening, yubbies21! My name is Gummy, and I'll take the post of the intrepid reviewer who reviews songs without listening to the melody beforehand! As such, I've taken some precautions so I don't screw this review up... hopefully.
Let's start out with what I liked about this set of lyrics. First, I'd like to congratulate you on taking that first step into writing songs. Exploring new realms of literature is always nice. Now, as for the message that this piece conveys, I believe it's clear and consistent throughout the entirety of the piece. That, in itself, is a huge plus. I find the piece to be of a good size: It's long enough to keep the reader interested, but it's concise enough to keep that interest alive while the reader finishes it. The chorus is my favorite part of the song, in case you were wondering. The rhyme scheme is very easy to understand, and it's very appealing to the ear.
My nitpicks are few, and do not refer to the structure of the piece... given that this is not a poem, but a song. For starters, I'd like to start by pointing out the least subjective splinter I noticed. The second-to-last line is missing an "I". Sure, it's just a little typo, and it's easy to miss, but I just found it a little odd when I first read this piece. Secondly, I'd like to inquire about how many of the verses in this song have one or two words that kinda stand out and disrupt the rhyme scheme. Call this my opinion, and you can take this with a grain of salt if you want to.
I've noticed I've already wasted enough of your time with this review, and I'm pretty sure I've written a lot more than 1000 characters here, so I won't bother with an ending speech. Just keep at it and take care. 'Til next time~
Hi Yubbies!
First off, this song was very well written. I can definitely say your imagery with this work was very spot on. I do find the dark emotions a bit much, however it did have the effect of making the message clear in the song. I can definitely see the reaction in this song of the narrative. However, I think you could work on it and add a bit more. Maybe a few more stanzas about how this person leads the narrative around? It could invoke more understanding to the readers.
Besides that, I found this song very well done and I really enjoyed your piece. I hope you continue working and I plan to look into some more of your works at a later date. I hope this review helps you and keep up with the good work!
Sincerely,
Soulkana
This is too depressing for me. It seems like most of the songs on the radio are depressing nowadays.
"Molding me anew like clay"
I don't understand this line very much. Do you mean this guy/whatever is shaping your feelings or something? There is just too much pain in this song and is much like many other songs, however, it does have feeling to it, which is important for a song.
I don't like the part when you repeated You never, You never, twice, it just drags out the song more. Anyways, it still had emotion to it, which I enjoyed. Keep writing!