Young Writers Society

Hiiii...!!!
This is absolutely amazing amazing and amazing!!
I love science and so was just checking the science section and found it. Venus's gravity attracted me to read this and I loved it. I want to become a space scientists and for me this was really adorable.
Very very thank you for writing this!!

Angel here for a very short review! First off, I love how it mentions Venus and secondly that's very fascinating that that occurred on the planet! I love how it's brief and also, again, mentioning, Venus since she is the goddess of love. I love the imagery and how it's based, even though it's loosely, on a factual even as well. sorry that this wasn't the best review you could've had, great poem!

This is Nikayla here for a review!

I thought that the concept for the poem is something quite interesting, and let's jump into that. You use an event that relates to science, which gives you a base for the poem and the details about the topic, but at the same time, this seems to be a rather small event that not many people know about. If the readers didn't have the link, would they be able to interpret it as you wrote it, is my question. Would there be any context to what this poem is about without linking it or spelling it out? I'm not saying that there is one true interpretation when it comes to poetry, but it seems that your intention is something that shines through a bit in this poem.

I don't think this poem would have the same effect if this was written in the year 2023 or something of that sort, and that's where as a poem in itself I think it has a flaw, but you can say it works for now and I don't think that you were intending this to be your strongest piece. I liked the start of the poem with the first two lines already addressing a bit of what was going on in the poem. The second stanza is a bit awkward in its phrasing, particularly with the last line because you use both "she" and "her" so close together and I don't think "her clouds" is a strong phrasing to pair with the rest of the line.

The third stanza suggests that there are still a lot of secrets about Venus, and about the universe in general and while it isn't that spectacular, I do think it works well to set up or introduce that thought into the poem. The last stanza is probably my favorite one for the fact that it uses the morning star in seemingly two different contexts (or at least that's how I interpreted it, with it being an alternate name for Venus and a weapon). It works for what it is, but I think it could be a bit stronger, I'd suggest basing your images off the facts that you already know about this event and go more from there like you've already started to do.

Thanks for making me learn about science and have a great day! :p

Wow, I love how this is factual yet is so imaginative, it was really captivating and interesting to read. This reminds me of something they'd encourage high school students to do to remember things about Venus; write a poem or a song.

Great meatphors, great imagery, great personification, there is very little to critique, however in my opinion I would change the line "before she retreated into her clouds again." it sounds good, but not great compared to the rest of the poem.

As I can see from your profile, you're an awesome writer! Thanks for sharing this with us. - Tiana