Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if I offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.
That having been said:
Thanks for sharing this very interesting prose poem or short story about how mankind ruins the Earth and must leave it in search of a very distant new home. Not a totally new idea but the way it is handled in the poem is very effective.
I like the use of dramatic monologue since it made me feel as if a passenger on this interstellar ship is talking to me personally. It gives the description an emotional depth that it would otherwise not have because the speaker is very personally. The deep melancholy and sadness comes through loud and clear. As a reader, the poem hooked me emotionally because it is about my species and my planet that the passenger is talking. I felt anger at mankind’s stupidity and its seemingly insane quest for material gain regardless of consequences.
Suggestion
I would write it without ignoring capitalization. Why? Because it distracts me so I figure it might distract other readers.
The poem starts with the pronoun “they”“ and shifts to the pronoun “we”. I would use only one of the two as a dramatic monologue point of view.
Careful with repeating the word "star" too frequently and too close together.
[O]n earth, [we] thought [ourselves] the center of the universe. over centuries, [but] learned the truth, that [our] home was but a blip in the galaxy. [We] wondered if [we] were alone, but did [we] really want to know the answer? [We squandered]all [that our] planet offered, assuring [our] self-destruction. [I]t was too late. [We] had to leave, setting course for stars that [we] could never live to see.
[N]ow we are surrounded by [the darkness and]the living memory of a planet we have never known. [W]e have never climbed mountains, never sunk our toes into ocean-soaked sand, never heard birds sing in the forest. [W]e live in suspense, knowing only the world inside this [ever-traveling] machine, dreaming of the worlds our children might conquer.
[Yes, we] still wonder if we are alone, watching the stars for any sign of life. [E]ven lost in space, we remember the stories of those who died before us, those who dared to chase the stars. [W]e are fueled by their vision, their hope that we would live to see a new star, a new place for our feet
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