I walk here
Everyday
And everything's
Always the same
They laugh and talk
Carrying on
I walk among them
In silence
Unknown
And now
They've all disappeared
Leaving me alone
It's so eerie
When they're gone
And the silence seems so wrong
Here in a place of crowds
Walking on their footprints
The echo seems so loud
When you're alone
In a place of crowds
An alternative might be to focus on the emotions the performer creates and how that transfers to the audience. For example, maybe they dance as the player dances with their fingers. Or maybe the music reminds them of something.
Overall, this has a lot of excellent imagery and is well-written. If the strange imagery toward the end is re-focused, I think it would be a stronger piece. Good job and keep writing!
Holy crap! (Is that a curse? I don't know).
These are great! I love the last couple of verses. This is frekain' excellent.
118,004 Literary Works • 638,785 Reviews
Points: 504
Reviews: 5
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