The Words in My Mind

I wish that my words were as free as yours,
My life and my words are full of discords.
Your words may not stick to a page even though you plea,
But let me tell you that they stick with me.
They tell me a story so close to my own,
One that I myself have to allow myself to groan.
Now keep on writing for me and those you may not see,
Because life is like words, don't you see?
Inspiration is hard to find and to take,
But here it is, something that you make.
Keep writing and living,
Keep being alive!
Living must be documented,
And it must be revived!

ok i really love your writing style and how your talk to us and just making your thoughts live with the screen.everything about your poems are good for me and itmakes it easy for me to do this."bows"oh great one .haha yeah like i said please keep up the good work and keep writing for i love to read evenmore.

Hey! Blablabl92 here!
I really like this poem, and I love all your juicy descriptions! (That sounded kinda creepy, sorry)

But perhaps you might want to add punctuation and change the format a tad because the flow is a bit messy.

The words in my mind,
Won't go on my page,
Try as I might,
I can't make them stay.

They flit about,
So agile AND free,
Until they fly so far
THAT they won't come back to me.

And while I encourage all freedom,
Really! All kinds.
I just WISH the words,
were easier to find.


This just looks and flows a bit better, don't you think? But that's my opinion.
All the caps words are ones I added to make it flow better too.

But I love all the figurative language and everything you're trying to convey. And of course I'm so happy that you made the poem rhyme! I don't like it when poems don't, but I know that it can be tricky.

Hello there, I am here to review.

I really like this poem. It is short, straight to the point, and it gets the emotions you want to give right through. I find it very good and efficient. I especially like how you compare your words to birds or maybe butterflies, and it is good imagery that processes well in my mind.

However, there are a couple of errors that you can change, although they are merely small spelling mistakes or something you forgot.

First, there is this:

They flit about so agile and free

I just ? the words were easier to find.

I just hope/wish the words were easier to find.

Man, I relate. A lot. I don't have much to criticize. This was great. Great. And that is an understatement. The metaphorical concept won me over. Please write more of these metaphorical stories. They are amazing. I think you have a real talent for poem writing. Keep up the great work!

-Kazuto Kirigaya

Hey, Herbgirl! This a nice little poem (though I wish it were longer, but that's preference.)

I caught two major errors, however.

"I just the words were easier to find." I think you meant to add "Wish" or some word there, unless it was intentional considering the context of the poem.

Also, "They flit about so agile in free." Did you mean "agile and free"? Otherwise, as I said earlier, this is a nice little poem and there isn't much else I could catch.

Keep up the good work, Herbgirl!

This was great! I can definitely relate to the subject matter!

One quick thing, I feel like you may have missed a word from the last line.
I just the words were easier to find.
I just wish the words were easier to find?

Either way, it was a great little poem. I loved it!