Devotion

Hey herbgirl!

This is well thought out piece of writing. Firstly you've used rhyming couplet patterns in your work like any other standard piece of poetry. This is good, as it's unlike other poetry works here on YWS.

Content wise, you clearly discuss your devotion and relationship to this special person - whether it be god, a friend, your lover etc. This concept helps readers connect with their own personal devotions to such, thus making this a good piece of writing. However, you've used the word "Love" or "Loved" way too often here. I feel you try to create emphasis of the concept devotion, rather it seems too repetitive.

Grammar and Spelling is very good. You've ensured that readers can grasp your content very comfortably.

Structure wise, you've organized the content into four stanzas of four equal lines. This is a good start as you make ease for readers to read your content. Each stanza has its significance, for example the introduction and conclusion stanzas. In between you mention what all you will do for this special person/god.

With content, there's good coherency of your writing. Your content is organized in chronological order from introduction to concluding stanza.

Literary devices are used as well. I am able to identify adjectives, personification, and metaphors.


My personal rating for this work is 4.4/5


I'll add a "like" since your work gets 80%+ from me

Running the risk of sounding like a broken record, dramamine is right about love and the way it is most often viewed as cliche, but I'll have to disagree with them on the originality of the poem. The structure of this particular bit of writing really stuck out at me for some reason. Reading this just made me imagine something like a cool stream flowing over rocks with the smooth look about them.

On the topic of love, I commend you for writing a poem on such a close-minded topic- So many people put such strict guidelines on love-centric pieces of writing that it seems like fewer and fewer writers even want to broach the topic for fear of being shot down as a repeat or being unoriginal. I wish more writers would just push past the risk of having negative reviews thrown at them as you did

As much as I enjoyed this poem, though, I suppose a certain amount of constructive criticism would not be out of place. Much as dramamine said, the use of more powerful words that can invoke feeling and imagery are useful tools indeed. I would recommend looking back and seeing what words could be substituted to illicit a more deeply felt response and connection with your works.

I hope at least some of that was even a little bit helpful! Carry on with the good work

Love is often regarded as a rather cliche subject matter unless it is done in a new or unique fashion. Unfortunately this poem, while well-written, is not very original or particularly innovative in any way. I know this was probably just written as a cute little poem for someone you admire dearly and I might be coming across as rather harsh right now but I am only giving you my honest opinion. A brutally honest one at that.

If I were you I would try to expand my horizons in poetry writing and greater the difficulty of my themes and subject matter. Not just lovey-dovey, cutesy poems that have no real depth or meaning. Then again maybe this is just what you like writing about and that's fine but don't expect to be winning any major poetry awards or contests with these types of poems.

Objectively speaking this is a fine little poem that has a nice rhyme scheme throughout. It flows well and gets its point across but frankly contains nothing that will make it stand out among other poems. I apologize once again for my harshness but I am truly only trying to help you better yourself.

In the future, I would suggest using more powerful and meaningful words. Also try to come up with lines that have a great meaning to you not ones that have been written a thousand times before. I do truly wish you the best in your future writing endeavors and I hope you find yourself more through your poems.