The scales that hide my heart
Do not change or move.
Emotions do not warm or chill,
But rage unhindered; no friction in space.
What was thought ignorance was,
By inaction, a dissipation of flames.
When I do not open my mouth,
It is to quench the fire, and withhold the acid.
The ink on a page may be my heart,
Or perhaps philosophy inspired by others.
Writing is another type of scale:
You may lie, and go undiscovered.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Nicely done, dragonofphoenix! Just thought I'd review because I can really relate to the topic at hand. Your figures of speech are unique and fittingly dark. The last two lines presented an interesting observation, and brought the poem to an excellent conclusion. If I had to nitpick, I'd say the shift between stanzas 2 and 3 was a bit jarring...then again, they're in separate stanzas for a reason, I suppose.
Once again, great job, and I can't wait to see more from you!
Hii.
. You've earned a gold star, hurray!
That was really, really good. This is a great poem, possibly one of the best I've ever read since like...3 days ago
I'm sorry. I got carried away.
I really liked this poem, though. Just, the part when you said, "What was thought ignorance was," I don't get that part. It just doesn't make much sense. But maybe that's just me being a weird, theirteeen year old girl who doesn't get proper grammar. Haha.
Also, the figurative language you've used in this poem is brilliant. I haven't even heard of them before! These were the words that really made me explode (nah I'm jk, I'm still in one piece brah or bro..).
"Philosophy
Unhindered
Inaction
Dissipation"
You sir/ma'am, are truly an inspiration to all. keep on writing like this, pleeeeeeeeeeaaassee. I'll give you cookies...
no I won't. But I'll review and like them!
Hope u had a merry holidays, too :p
-huez
Thanks! I'm glad you liked this.
Hello, dragonfphoenix.
I really like your poem. I was really into it by the time I read the first sentence. I love the wording in the poem mostly because I never seen such words before in my life like the words "inaction" and "dissipation".
The one line that got me confused...
I don't know if you meant to put that or it's a typo, but let me know what it is that way I can understand. Thank you!
All in all, it's a great poem. Keep up the good work! ~
- K
Glad you liked the poem. Yes, that line is meant as is. Grammatically, that first "was" is part of the verb of that dependent clause. P.E.T. (plain English translation): That sentence was written that way for effect. A phrase I could and would have added, if this were prose, would have been "by others," so it would read like this: "What was thought ignorance by others was really, by my inaction, a dissipation of my flames."
Hope that helps explain it a little better.
Hi, hope you find your 2nd review helpful! I did like this work- very much indeed. I liked the words you used eg. unhindered,friction,dissipation, and etc. I liked the ending in paticular. My favourite lines would be
"What was thought ignorance was,
By inaction, a dissipation of flames."
What I thought could use improvement would be tthe lenght of lines in a stanza. for the 1st two stanzas the ending line seems a little long.
Overall, a really nice poem.
- Anshira
Thanks for the review! Glad you liked the poem.
My pleasure!
Hi DfP, Dream with a quick review on your awesome poem!
I love when you use the first person view in this poem. It is much easier to understand and more profound impact. Tone of voice varied from the first stanza to the end where once in a while you speak in a little bit cynical.
In the poem, the scale becomes something abstract to measure your emotions. However, not everything can be measured with a scale. That's what I understand in your poem. The imagery you have created, you give it into something that can be seen, touched and felt by using the metaphor that is matching with it.
I really like the idea that you want to portray. It takes time to understand the poem and I still thinking about how actually the form / characteristics of the scale? Maybe a scale to measure the honesty (The honesty scale)? Or it might be just a metaphor.
Anyway, this is my favorite lines in your poem. I think it was well written and give a deep impact to the whole part of the poem.
Perhaps the connection among stanzas can be improved so that they can give effect to make the poem easy to understand. Keep it up!
Kudos, cheers
Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it.