Mr. Norton’s Windmill

by dragonfphoenix

Published June 12, 2014

E - Everyone

In Poetry

Two boys stood beside the fence,

Admiring the green gleam of the windmill,

The one to scorn, the other praise.

“It once was black,” said the first,

“And now he’s gone and followed the crowd.

Everyone’s painting their windmills

The yellows and greens of John Deere.

What was wrong with the way

The makers made their windmill?”

The second pondered the question,

His brow furrowed in thought.

“I think,” he replied, glancing up

At the yellow-painted blades,

“That it’s not always wrong to be

Among so many. There’s a reason

For that popularity. Why should we fault him

For liking what so many others like?”

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
KathrynLane
Review
KathrynLane wrote a review Review · Jun 29, 2014

This is really interesting :) I love how you've taken something thats pretty boring and ordinary, and made a spectacular poem out of it :) I really liked the imagery in the poem, it was easy to imagine the two boys standing next to the newly painted window :) there was just one tiny grammatical thing: “And now he’s gone and followed the crowd. There needed to be another quotation mark at the end of this line, you opened it but didn't close it! Other than that, awesome writing, thanks :)

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it.
Actually, I did close it. He says a lot more than two lines. It ends here: The makers made their windmill?%u201D
Again, thanks for the review!

*I have no idea why that just did that. All the "%201D" is supposed to be a close-quotes. XD

Wow.... I have no idea how I missed that!! Sorry! :(

Haha, no problem. It's completely understandable. :)

User avatar
lenovo
Review
lenovo wrote a review Review · Jun 12, 2014

I really enjoyed this poem. It had strong color imagery, and the characters really made this poem work. The fluency was strong, and the writing was clear. This poem told a nice story without over doing it, which I believe really important because otherwise the poem becomes rambled and confusing. I especially like how the two different characters seemed to represent the different characters seemed to represent a constant debate between the cynical nature of some, and the all around understanding and appreciation of others (at least that is how I interpreted it). Keep up the great work!

Thanks for the review! Glad you liked the poem. Yep, that's pretty much the theme.
Thanks again!

gallifreygal11 wrote a review Review · Jun 12, 2014

I really like this poem! It is very well written, lyrical, good imagery, and fine message. I love how it tells a short story, while still staying true to the art of poetry. Your rhythm and vocabulary are excellent. One of ,my favorite lines from the piece is "Two boys stood beside the fence, Admiring the green gleam of the windmill, The one to scorn, the other praise." The wording of this is just so wonderful! And how you say it quickly, but sweetly is just perfect. I know that if I tried to attempt something like that I would fail miserably. I am very good at going off topic and stretching things out that should be short and sweet, like what I'm doing now. Anyway, back to your poem. The message really hits me hard. But I want to clarify with you about what it is truly saying. It's talking about how we judge and treat each other comparing to others. Like with the following of others' actions and how that is judged and treated by friends, family, acquaintances, and others in life. All in all, great job!

Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it. And you wouldn't fail! Practice makes perfect. You gotta just go and worry about perfectionism after you've left a mound of works behind. :D
Yep, the subject's basically how judging those who are in a crowd can go many different ways, and it's not necessarily bad to be in a crowd. ;)
Thanks again!

User avatar
Hamsa
Comment
Hamsa commented Comment · Jun 12, 2014

Hey, Hamsa here :)
Nice poem, made me smile. Original theme too and well written. Great job!
See ya :)

Hey, glad you liked it. :)



Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
— Niels Bohr