Rambling
Sometimes
I don’t get people.
Honestly,
most of the time
I don’t get people.
And probably,
most of the time,
people don’t get me either.
And most of the time
it doesn’t bother me.
The quiet and solitude,
I look forward to that,
so it doesn’t bother me
most of the time
when people don’t get me.
But most of the time
it isn’t all the time,
then it bothers me.
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139,463 Literary Works • 672,570 Reviews
This poem is obviously very deep and I really like it because of that. As LosCadaver said, the flow of the poem is a bit klunky but I'm guessing that was deliberate. Seeing as the title is "Rambling" you made the flow slightly "Klunky" like a rambling person is when they speak.
I really like the way you explore your characteristics and traits so deeply using so little words and such simple language. All in all a great poem. Keep writing.
Hellooooo!! I'm HPR and my first critique is this: In the middle of the poem this usually isn't necessary but at least begin your poem with a CAPITAL LETTER. And punctuation is required too. At least a comma or a period would be fine. Now, since you sid it's "From the heart." I guess it's alright but you really should start with capitals and then continue however you want. And, the way you've written the poem, it should have separate stanzas because it gives more... well... feeling, I should say. And, I don't agree with LosCadaver. I don't think it sounded like you attempted a rap. But, yeah, your flow did sound forced. So I tried doing something to it:
Okay so I've tinkered and played around with it as much as I could. Now, if you get the idea, maybe you could try doing it in your own way. I've just done whatever I could according to how I think it is supposed to be. But, you really do need to give it a better flow. The end was my favorite part and overall I think it was a really good poem but as I said: Capital Letters. That's pretty much it. Hope I wasn't too harsh!
~HPR~
That is indeed deep
However when I read it, its kind of.... Klunky?
It has a definitive flow, however its a forced flow?
In no way to take from the work, because it is rather
sounds like you attempted a rap.
Nothing wrong with that, its just I had to re-read it a couple of times just to keep up with the beat.