One Lump Or Two?
My Aunty was born in London
and scoffed at scams like horoscopes and lifelines.
She scolded, “Do not be foolish, Dear,
one cannot tell squat from a palm,
the secret is in how they take their tea.”
I sat, wide-eyed, sipping Earl Grey
as she said,
“Dear girl, beware of those
who take three sugar cubes,
as they are greedy and never content
with you, the world, or themselves.”
Then she continued onto
my Mother’s type
which insists on strong black tea.
Cautioning, “Those minimalists are loyal,
hardworking souls
but headstrong to the bone.
They cannot agree with people unlike them
which is why your Father left her.”
“And sensible people,”she winked at me,
“take one sugar and a good bit of milk”
Which is precisely how she and I take our tea
and I nodded, poker-faced,
because I knew what Aunty meant
when she said sensible.
She meant those people who run countries,
enforce justice, and do not tolerate
the fancies and whims of dreamers.
I took an unsophisticated gulp
wondering what Aunty would think
if she knew
I had been upstairs all morning,
lounging in my nightdress,
writing poem on poem
about those whims
and fancies and horoscopes.
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139,463 Literary Works • 672,570 Reviews
I..........LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is absolutely superbly fantastically awesome and I absotively posilutely love it!!!
Oh...a review...okay, well I'll see if there's anything at all that I don't love to death.
Actually, I think that Shadowhunter pretty much got all of the grammar (although you really should follow that advice).
Um...well...apart from nitpicks I really don't have all that much to add. I did especially enjoy your last two stanzas--the poem is so very personal and witty, just makes me smile to read it. I'm sorry if this isn't especially helpful.
Well, I must say farewell.
*Zooms of to examine other amygabb works.*
Hi! It's Shadowhunter! You're new aren't you? Is this your first submission?
)
First of all, I'd just like to say that I really enjoyed this poem. I felt that the idea was really very unique, and the way you executed it was great. The style with which this was written was also very good, and I felt that this was just the right length. Now for some nitpicks/criticism (won't be too harsh, don't worry
One thing you need to improve on a bit is your grammar and (although not that much) punctutation; for example the first letter of each stanza should be capitalised. The lack of capitalisations etc. didn't really detract from the poem for me, it's just that I'm a fussy Grammar Nazi
This was a very strong beginning and I like how you gave us an idea of the Aunty's character right away. Very effective.
This part was good too, the only thing is the first two lines - the use of the word "elucidated" (good word, by the way) doesn't quite seem to fit the poem or the rhythym. The "exactly what she meant" part also seems a little unecessary, I understand what you're saying, but perhaps you could revise or rephrase this bit so that it fits the rhythym more and flows better. Or you could just start the stanza with "she said..." and omit those lines altogether. Just a suggestion.
Interesting stanza, I like how you weaved in information about the narrator's mother's character and the father.
I especially like the last couple of lines here, how you elaborated on the concept of "sensible people" and what the Aunty meant by that.
Very nice ending - I like it a lot! The only thing is that maybe in the very last line you could cut out either "fancies" or "horoscopes" to make it flow better. Or perhaps you could end it after "writing poem on poem" with "about those whims and fancies".
Overall great poem! The study of what people are like according to what they take for tea was a very fascinating topic. I also like the title, drew me right in. Anyway, well done! Hope my review helped