String of Dark Realization

Hi Catlover211! Cakerissa reporting for Reviewing!

Up until the third stanza, I can relate. I like how you spaced out your words like,
........................................................................
Pain
........................................................................
Doesn't
.........................................................................
Ever
.........................................................................
Stop
.........................................................................

One thing I would change is adding commas to the end of the lines. I enjoyed this poem, a lot.

Keep writing!
Cakerissa

O.k I would give you some constructive criticism but the truth is, I don't have any! At first I was kind of confused because the lines had no real format, But after I finished I realize that it didn't need a format. I like this poem a lot. I can relate to this and I am sure other people can as well. You wrote about things that people have to go through everyday. Most people don't know what you go through and I know from experience that, it isn't easy going through tough times and having people not believe or not care that we are hurting. You did a very good job on this. Keep up the good work and don't stop writing!

Although the structure seems random, it seems to work with the idea of a string of realizations. As each stanza grows shorter it makes it just as clear as the wording does that an ending is coming. I can understand why you'd use slang in the context but it just doesn't seem to fit, though it is easily overlooked. But the lines like "I'm used to it" hit home, so well done! I used to introduce myself as "the disposable one", seeing how I have an awful sense of humor, so I could relate. Good luck writing more!

This truly does feel like "strings of darkness", as if you were holding every one of them and dwelt on their existence. I like how you used emotions or certain wording triggers to make the poem have a more drastic meaning. Although your writing seems a bit erratic, but not to the point to have it be unappealing. It's very relate able and realistic to today's circumstances, which I find can be mentally and emotionally helpful for different individuals. Very good.

Ruro here for a review!
Alright, very tired, so please excuse any really random typos I do ><

So, let's jump into the review, eh?
Your first stanza doesn't feel well put together, just a random string of thoughts put together, and while, yes, poetry does do that, I feel like you could add more into that. I personally feel that the words "goin'" and "'bout" add absolutely nothing to your poem and it would read better with going and about.
So, I feel like, rather than tell us, "So sensitive inside" make this something more. "So sensitive inside" is your lump of clay, sculpt it into something deeper and more meaningful.
So overall, I feel like this has a ton of potential, you're just not quiet tapping it. Give us more so we can feel the emotion with the narrator. Make us feel like the narrator so we know what it's like.
So I really suggest going in and writing a lot, make it a giant lump of clay, and edit off chunks until you have your sculpture.


A very tired one must be wandering now!

~Ruro~