She stood by the school,
watching him get on the school bus.
She handed him his art project,
as he looked in her blue eyes. And said, "Thank you."
She watched the love of her life
Ride away in Bus One.
...they never got to meet up that afternoon.
Summer came, and she cried.
Each day and night held terrors of being trapped.
She spiraled into the darkness,
and fear crept into her mind.
Nothing created that spark that only he had.
That spark had left her in total pandemonium...
Months later, she knows he moved.
High school - off to a rocky beginning.
She becomes the class rebel,
yet the straight- A student.
Friends are flaky, liars, and drift apart.
But she never shows how strong she never was.
She has anxiety, social issues, and major depression.
She is wary of people and withdraws now.
She doesn't trust the rumors, or the deceit passed around.
They tug at her, replay in her mind,
Trapping her here, running over to another crevice.
Words sting worse than she'd ever known;
The maze shattered beneath her, ever so peacefully.
She has used a razor on her natural undertone skin,
And often dreams of death leeching away her chance at a full life.
Wanting to just kill herself already,
and eternally sleep in a black hole.
But I'm still here now, aren't I?
I'm still here.
*For all those who fight their battles, who aren't strong, who may be suicidal or self harmed, and for all those with depression and anxiety. Thanks for reading, guys. Means a lot.*
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139,920 Literary Works • 672,745 Reviews
Hey I'm Caitie
I just wanted to say that this was a very deep piece. It shows the reader what someone goes threw to end up doing that. I am very glad you wrote this because it will give people a better perspective on what really goes on. I myself have not fought those battles, but I do know people that do and I want to thank you. You showed me what was going threw their mind when this happened. I didn't really see and mistakes in any way. I really liked this piece and I hope others do too. Bye!
Thank you for your review! I appreciate how you can dig into this and create a good comment about it. Happy writing!
The message being told here is very important and one that we should all keep in mind. No matter how hard life gets and how awful the obstacles are in front of you, just keep on sticking your head up and doing what you know should make you the happiest.
I have gone through something similar in high school when I was heartbroken over someone who had to ae a choice between me or another girl. I did not want to even have him if he thought he needed choices. But still, losing him was really hard. regardless, I am here and will forever remain grateful of being that strong kid back then.
Now I am with a man who I have been together with for nearly 6 years and I am so very much happy. For anyone reading this, do not give up!
I love what you are talking about in this and I think that this should be something everyone should look into more. I do not see anything wrong in terms of grammar or language usage so I hope to see more work from you in the near future.
Awee, thank you RSTorres! Your words mean a lot to me! I appreciate the review
Have a good day!
I can relate my life rn with this one. I'm so depressed and I have anxiety. Continue writing and may you overcome that depression & anxiety.
)
Awe I'm sorry Potato! (cute username) Thanks for sharing
Thanks
Incredibly deep and heartfelt. Important message, too.
However, as this is poetry, I have a few nitpicky comments:
- You could be more dramatic and original with it. You state the obvious it seems, but this topic to you seems like a muddy lake; You're standing on the shore, telling us what's down there from an outsider's POV. Stick your hand down into the murky, muddy depths and pull something original out. Use your own language. Make it dramatic and deathly and beautiful. You get the gist.
- It doesn't really flow like a poem. Although the topic tugs at my heart strings, the way you write about it does not. You're trying, I can see, but you're not quite there yet. Add a little rhythm, a little music to cry to. Poetry is all about the art of language. Really exercise your creativity here.
Overall, not a bad poem. I can tell you really care about it. That's good.
Happy writing!
Thank you Cupcake Queen! I appreciate your comments! I will revise the poem and use my own language. I know, I go off in tangents and it was just something I made up last night, but it's a true story. Have a good day!
Happy writing to you as well
Oc! I can tell its very important to you. It's really a lovely poem.
You too!
Thanks! I hope to spread how devastating this gets to be, and hope to encourage those to spread it. We need to be aware of this !