Self shaming

Hello, Catlover211!

I think it's important to express our feelings about ourselves, even if they are negative. I have written this type of poem in the past, and it is cathartic; it makes us feel better even if the feelings remain true. This is definitely a valid form of self expression.

You also have a good grasp of meter. It has a nice rhythm and the rhyme scheme doesn't force.

That being said, there are things that I'd like to address about this poem.

In any work, the piece should go somewhere. This poem does not go anywhere. It stagnates, sits there like a puddle waiting for mosquitoes to breed in it. We don't want any mosquitoes. In poetry, I find that the easiest way for a poem to move is epiphany. Just in case you don't know, epiphany is a sudden realization. Any epiphany is acceptable-- it could be an epiphany by the narrator of the poem, by the poet, or even an epiphany that is meant for the reader to have. So while the narrator of this poem might hate themselves, what can they learn or realize from it? Or what actions might they take to not hate themselves? Make the poem go somewhere so it's not just a list of things that the narrator hates about themselves.

Repetition is a device that is used in poetry, sometimes to great effect. Here, the reason that it functions relatively well is because it is what the meter relies on. I encourage you to experiment with poetic devices other than repetition. Repetition can easily become irritating and make the reader skip over the lines in their brain because they think they know what it is going to say.

Instead of listing things, try describing things. Use your five senses to show the reader why the narrator hates what they hate. As a curvy woman, I've learned to love myself even if other people don't. I don't see a reason to hate myself. So show my why the narrator hates those things.

I hope that this review proves useful to you! Keep writing, and happy review day!

Oh, Catlover211! This was a beautiful poem and a beautiful expression of feelings! The best part of a poem is its effect on the reader, and boy, did this leave an impression! I think the fact that we know that it is not only kind of about the author, but it is also what everyone feels, to an extent, and that's deep.

Personally, I like the lack of punctuation, but that's because I'm super into the fact that poetry is unaffected by the rules of grammar and such that typically dictate prose. The one thing that I think maybe should be changed (and it's only what I think in my mind, so it's not like a "YOU HAVE TO DO THIS OR ELSE" kind of thing, so seriously feel free to ignore my rambling, no offense taken, because you're the author, the poet, so this is your baby, not mine, and who am I to tell you how to raise your kid?) is maybe the "Hate the fat hate the unfair" because of the number of syllables in unfair is different from the rest, so maybe change unfair to a different word. Of course, unfair is a perfect word to describe the feeling as well, so do what you please.

Another thing (I know I only said "one" up there; I'm sorry) is maybe switching the last two lines around, because I think the line about appearance should be with the others, as well as that "voice" and "lips" have more non-literal meaning, as well.

Sorry if this was confusing! Great poem, and have a great day! -null

This is great, it has great rhythm and rhyme, and the emotion really comes through in your good word choice. It's really relatable as well. The only thing I can think of to improve is that it could use some punctuation to make it easier to read and be grammatically correct. You just need commas between each thing, like "Hate my thighs, hate my hips." And technically "Self shaming" should be "Self-shaming".
Good work!