Summer Teardrops

I really like this poem and how the teardrops start off only as puddles and then progress into being able to fill an entire ocean. Your words evoke a lot of emotion in this piece. Pain, sorrow, loneliness are things that I too can relate to. Overall it's very well-written and contains some great imagery.

Now I don't want to do this but I feel that there are a few things that you could change to make this poem stand out even more. Some lines in here come off as sort of generic like 'I feel so empty inside', or 'Sometimes I want to die'. These words have been written a thousand times before and I think if you were to change them to make them more unique or meaningful to you this poem would be even more amazing. Now don't get me wrong I think you're still a great writer and this is an awesome piece of writing but no poem is perfect. I'm sorry I probably have no idea what I'm talking about and I should probably shut up now. This is my first review so I apologize for the suckiness and questionable advice.

Seriously though this is great and you're great so thank you for posting this. By the way I read your profile (I'm a creepy stalker apparently) and I love your music taste, My Chemical Romance is one of my favorite bands in the universe so yeah. Have a great day

I came to this poem because I was so captivated by the title, and the imagery is perfect. I love how you have used beautiful images of the lakes in the summer, and the rivers and so on, but then there is the underlying current of sadness. I enjoy this kind of poem because I can really picture the difficulties of love in a way that it's beautiful to picture. Your rhyming scheme is great, and the repetition of the last two lines was very effective. They make you wonder what is going to happen next, and I think that is a great thing for a poet to do.

Well done!

Everybody will relate to this poem , as almost everyone has gone through that"Infatuation" phase..It feels like a pink cactus plant inside the lungs which grows every moment, hard to breathe every moment, we know it hurts ,however we dont stop watering it , nurturing it. ....dont forget there is always some water deep under the sand ...Your poem is good..write from your heart ..stay blessed..

Hi!


Anon5 here to review your work. I would like to begin by pointing out how beautifully you managed to arrange this poem. Well done! Here are some of the things I liked about this and some of the things I think could use some change:


1. The consistency is powerful. As a reader, I knew what to expect in terms of organisation and that allowed me to empathise more with the speaker. I was meant to feel sad and I felt sad. Simple and sweet.

2. I like the modernity in this. It is honest in terms of the time it is written in. You're not trying to hide that you're a 21st century poet, if you know what I mean.

3. "Don't know when or how to stop

In me, there's always more

In me, there's always more."

These lines are simply breathtaking. They are fresh and a thorough depiction of the speaker's apparent sadness. Heck, I would get those tattooed on my arm or something. They're beautiful.


Things that could use some change:


1. Why italicise when you are not stressing a point? It just seems random, to be fair. As I mentioned earlier, you have organised the poem in a way that does not need any accessories.

2. "I feel so very empty inside,"

It is always good to emphasise a point. Always. It adds an effect and it is satisfying to the ear. However, your use of "so very" is not the best way to emphasise the fact you feel empty inside. It sounds awkward.



Other than that, you're perfectly fine!


Bravo.


Write more,
Anon5

Happy Review Day!
I liked your poem very much. I liked the way you wrote about tears and how you did "Oceans of summer teardrops", etc.. It's very poetic and I like poetic stuff. But the poem itself is sort of sad because it talks about tears. Sometimes you cry when something amazing happens, sometimes you cry when bad things happen. I like your poem. Keep writing!!

Hey! You asked me to look at your work, so here is my review of it!

This is a very sad poem, and unfortunately there are too many people who can relate to it.
I liked it how you gradually increased the magnitude of tears shed in every successive stanza. You could have used blank break line instead of the "*", simply because this way they somehow appear to not be connected through context. If you wrote a very long poem, and you had to implement a significant change, the "*" would be the way to go.

I would also like to point out your punctuation. You never use fullstops, seldom use commas, and because of this some readers might get really confused.

Fullstops after "With a life left to maintain", "I have feelings that I hide", "Miss that person more and more", "Left on my heart several scars", "Sometimes I want to die", "My heart has depression in store", "Don't know how to stop", "In me there's always more".

Commas after "Ponds full of summer teardrops", "So alone, and so broken", "Lakes full of summer teardrops", "Oceans full of summer teardrops", "Teardrops full of so much sorrow".

It would not only improve the aesthetics, but readability as well. People would not have to go back and re-read bits of it just so they know what's going on. Just something you should take into consideration when writing poems. Other than that, I liked it, it made me feel sad inside, so it did its job pretty well.

This is my most honest review. There is definitely room for improvement, but that is a good thing! In that strive to achieve perfection, or to get as close to it as possible, people achieve amazing things! Just keep up the good work!

Hey, yo, Catlover211! Strange here on this fantastic Review Day and I have a review for you!

I just got your reply to my review so I dashed over here and read this work. I'm just going to give you some advice since you said, "I'm going to be here for a long, long time". I'm not only here to review, but I'm also here to poke the bear. Reviews are often considered critiques, which also sounds like criticism. They have the same prefixes. When people review bad movies, they don't give them false praise. They give them the truth. I gave you my honest opinion, and you shot it down. The best way to grow as a writer is to look at your writing in different lights. I don't give you praise and you give me a bad review as "payback".

Ayylmao.

Puddles full of summer teardrops

Feel so very empty inside

I have feelings that I hide

Miss that person more and more

Can I even still cry?

Without that person by my side

Okay so I like some things about this poem and I have a few problems.
I really like how the tears keep building bigger and bigger bodies of water with every few stanzas.
"Reflecting so much pain"--I like the word "reflecting" because that is characteristic of a puddle.
"Left on my heart several scars "--Even though this is a simple description, it's powerful, and leaves an impression on the reader.
"In me, there's always more. In me, there's always more."--This is a powerful use of repetition for the ending.

So the negative. I prefer the word "tears" over "teardrops". Teardrops sound somehow less tragic, more of a romantic term. But tears is far more sad. I don't like the usage of "gonna" and "wanna". I think that it's often better to use formal language for poetry.
I don't like the description of "depression galore". Galore almost sounds more like a marketing word, not one to match up with depression.

What I Think Is The Most Important Advice: It would be better if you used more descriptive and formal language, or elaborate on the person that you want by your side.

Keep writing!

Hello there Kat here to review for you and the fire nation

Hmm well this was quite sad but, good nonetheless .It's a really relatable poem you have here, summer and heart ache both can be quite tragic. I hope you aren't to depressed , it gets better eventually... I should know .

That aside, I think this would have been better if you broke it up into stanzas. I noticed the quantity of tears grew in terms of bodies of water and I thought that was a brilliant touch. Perhaps, break it into a new stanza for each time you mention the tears ... multiplying (for lack of a better word). I also think the fourth line form the end is either to short or unnecessary , although I noticed you have been trying for some subtle rhyming in here . But, that is purely subjective...

You don't need to put poem in the title :3

Overall, very tragically brilliant and I could really feel the emotion in here and no major grammar or flow problems from what I could tell. Please cheer up and keep writing!
~Kat