Bullying Rap

hey catty...it is a good one...i really like it !!!

This is a very intriguing rap. It doesn't go into specifics, which is always good when reaching out to a larger audience, but it doesn't become to vague. Your use of diction(wording) is very strong. I especially love "stab me, don't fulfill me, scream at me, refect(reflect? Deflect?) me, pierce me, don't protect me." This is very good, but I would recommend using some end punctuation and splitting up the song a bit more.

Before I get into my review, I will say an unnecessary story that might be slightly necessary.

In high school, I was bullied. It was not an everyday constant thing. No, it was just once every other day or something. But although most of the time, they are not physical, the emotional bullying were the worst for me. I remember being bullied into doing something I was not comfortable with and when I walked away from them, they would come at me twice as bad saying things like "you're too scared" or "chicken" or other similar stuff. I walked away to avoid the things they are doing to me but they are still doing them.

You see, reading your rap piece made me feel like I connected to the narrator. That is one of the best things about this work of yours - connection to your readers. There are so many others out there who would definitely enjoy this piece as much as I did.

Your repetitiveness with all the 'me' parts of the rap is what added the feeling to the rap and it was able to ensure a very steady and stable flow of it. That was some great work you did there.

With all the rhymes you use, they were used delicately and efficiently. 'break' and 'shake' were one of my few rhyme schemes that worked perfectly for me. I applaud you for this.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this and I hope to see more work of yours in the near future.

I like your idea but being repetitive like that can lose attention to the reader but other than that good work!