The little things

Hi,

I thought I'd write a quick review for this as well, while I'm browsing your portfolio. I've still got to do 6 more to win RevMo so thanks for helping me out

Specifics

1. I'm not sure 'usually' works in the third line as it has a lot more syllables than the other words used so far and is a bit of a mouthful. Perhaps instead you could cut it out and have the line as more of a statement:

The way a smile forms,
and laughter follows

This would have a stronger flow and it's presenting this as an absolute rather than just a sometime thing which makes it more powerful. Exaggeration is definitely your friend when it comes to poetry.

2. Stanza two has a typo in the last line and I think the first two lines could easily be one, giving you an extra line to expand more. Like:

How a pair of eyes can tell you the truth.
They show you how to weigh a heart
even when you don't wish to

Overall

The third stanza is sweet! In general, there's a really nice simplicity to this poem and it has a good, uplifting mood. I think you could add another stanza or two with more things you love about people but it also works as it is.

All the best,
~Heather

Hello! Whatcha here for a review!

First, I want to tell you your poem is good. It doesn't, by any means, suck.
I would probably change 'and laughter usually follows' to 'and the laughter that pursues' or something like that. To tell you the truth, to me, 'a lot' doesn't sound like something used in a poem. That may just be me, though. So I might change that to '... can tell you a novel' or some other more descriptive word. 'Wish too' should be 'wish to,' but that's just grammar. You could change it to 'don't want to know', but that's totally up to you. This is just something I think would be fun - the last line could be 'makes me grin and bear the pain', as it's a saying and that's basically what you're saying.

Keep writing! You can write

Simple and beautiful, I have nothing negative to say about this. Good Job

Hi, Vegas! Let's get into this review!

So the first thing I'd say, for sake of aesthetic, choose a font that's more "boring", as loud fonts can take away from the actual words. But, you don't have to worry too much about that.

I think there are three main things you could work on for this. One is make sure to only use words that are completely useful. You could take out "usually" in "laughter usually follows". You could probably combine all the lines of the second stanza into "How a pair of eyes can tell you an unwanted truth". (Also, you should use "to" not "too" for "even if you don't wish too").

The second is using strong adjectives and more descriptions. In "how a pair of eyes can tell you a lot", you could replace "a lot" with something like "volumes" or "a wealth". Honestly if you're stuck on adjectives just look on google. (Just look up "a lot synonyms").

The third is expanding your ideas. You obviously have a great idea in this poem. It's sweet and it's uplifting. You could add some more of the little things you notice about people and talk more about how they make you feel much more. And the thing about the pain in the end is a bit out of place and vague. What pain? Why does this person help? Try to develop that idea more.

Thank you for your poem!

Hey there Vegas! I just wanted to leave a few thoughts on your poem.

I love the font choice you used for this, I think it worked well for this piece. It makes the poem seem authentic, spontaneous, and casual -- although having it in all caps can come across as too intense or juvenile, it didn't bother me too much in this piece.

I think the sentiments expressed are really nice, but I do think you could work a bit on the flow (find the un-needed words in each line and see if you can do without them). You've got a bit of near end rhyme as well (follow/forms (long "o" sound), truth/too, and me/instantly). For me the slight amount of rhyming was a bit jolting without any rhyme scheme attached, so I'd either try to go for the rhymes or avoid it. But like I said, it was an enjoyable sweet little poem to read and I think it was also an excellent length.

Best of luck in your continued writing! I hope to read more of your work soon!

(please let me know if you have any questions about my review or if you wanted specific feedback on any aspect that I missed)

~alliyah