Tomorrow

I wake up to the sound of an alarm.

 Another day. Monday.

I wipe the crust out of my eyes and dream my way over to the shower. Dreaming of a nice hot stream of water.

I undress and slide into the shower, letting the water wash away the gauze of sleep. The steam sweeps across my skin, soothing and silencing, blanketing me in peace.  

Time passes. I step out of the shower feeling awake and alive and ready for the first time since....since....

I bury that thought.

"Daddy!"

Jaime toddles towards me, his smile is infectious.

I smile back. A true, genuine smile. A smile only my son can wring out of me.

"Hey buddy! When did you wake up?"

"I don't know daddy. I didn't have my clock."

I check his skinny little arm for his wristwatch.

"Do you want me to go get your clock?"

He shakes his head. A grin still plastered to his face. I walk over to sit next to him as he turns back to the T.V.

"Watcha watchin buddy?"

"Ben 10!"

He points to the T.V screen. I chuckle.

"Cool man. Have you eaten anything yet?"

He shakes his head.

"Do you want me to make you something?"

He nods. I smile and walk into the kitchen.

Cooking, yes I know how to cook, been doing it for years. Marian isn't here to do it anymore.

Marian was my wife, she died in a car accident driving home from her cousins.

Soon, the French toast is ready. I serve it up to him.

Thankfully, he takes it. Sometimes he doesn't eat. I watch him just in case he refuses. The little guy makes me nervous sometimes you know?

We sit and eat in silence. 

 My son watches T.V.

I don't. I think to myself. Silent yet horribly loud. I ignore them and focus on the day ahead.

Ignoring the voices dancing at the edge of my mind.

"When does school start buddy?" I ask, still lost in thought.

"Eight!" He says.

He gets up and stumbled over to the dinner table, pointing.

"Daddy look! I drew this for you!"

I smile and walk over. Happy.

"It's great! I tell you what. Lets go hang it up in my office."

He nods enthusiastically and waddles downstairs. I walk behind him, making sure he doesn't fall.

In the office, I hang up his picture, stepping back from it so he can see. His eyes light up in joy.

"Yay! Daddy look! Look at my picture!"

I chuckle and carry him upstairs. The time is seven thirty.

"Get your backpack on now!" I laugh as he shakes his head with a frown.

"C'mon bud, don't you want to get smart?"

He pauses, as if deciding and I hold my hand to my ear, pretending to hear something.

"Hey! I think I hear the garbage man!"

He gasps and runs to my leg.

"Lets go! I'll get you out of here don't worry."

I pick him up and grab his backpack. Together we make it to the car.

"Zoom! Zoom!"

He giggles and makes airplane noises as I walk over to the car.

I get him buckled in and give him his toys, letting him decide which one to play with.

"Off we go!" I say over my shoulder. He nods and pulls out his toy car.

His school is Carmen Heights Pre-school. Its got a swing set and a jungle-gym and they have naptime and learn their abc's and numbers and Jaime gets to play with a little dinosaur he named Freddy.

He loves it there. Therefore, I to love it.

I get out of the car and unbuckle him. He has a frown on his face again.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

He shuffles his feet.

"Your gonna come back right? Your gonna come back and we can play again?"

I laugh.

"Of course! Just you wait, were going to have loads of fun!"

He smiles now,

"I love you daddy!"

I watch him run off into the playground.

"I love you to Jaime!"

I wait until the teachers come out and round up all the kids, then get into my car and drive back home.

Dropping off Jaime is my least favorite time of day. he always asks that same question. Plus I don't get to hang out with him.

He makes me laugh.

I drive back home humming "Eyes of the World." The front door smells artificial as I push through it. I walk downstairs to my office, prying open my laptop.

The room smells artificial as well.

I check my email, a slight grin slipping across my features. The editor replied to some of my pitches. I'm a journalist. I work for Glamor-Pop. It's only the hippest, coolest, online tabloid of this century!

I thought I'd never stop laughing when I saw that on the site.

So yes, nothing special, but its work so I don't expect it to be.

My first objective is to write a piece on the opening of a new coffee shop that's attracting some attention. Its called The Monday Breaker.

I search up a bit about it. Owner's name is George Kaine. Their main site is a bit cheesy but easy to navigate and I find George's cell number in no time.

 "Ring......Ring......Ring...."

I tap my finger on the desk, waiting.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Frank Donnin here from Glamor-Pop! Can I ask you a couple questions about your new coffee shop in Glendale? Is their any competition? How is business so far? Have you always wanted to open a coffee shop?"

He laughs at the other end, a bit overwhelmed but most likely happy that he's getting attention.

"Well thank you for calling Frank. To answer your first question, there is no competition in this part of town. Thankfully." He chuckles.

I laugh back, trying to make him feel at ease.

"Great! So how's business on your first week?"

"Oh you know its not exactly fast but were getting there. A coffee shop is sort of an investment, you got to keep it in shape, keep it fresh and exotic, and then the money comes in. But you  have to be dedicated you know what I mean?"

I jot some notes.

"I absolutely do. Its a great thing your doing for the community there! I hear your enthusiastic about this opening. have you always wanted to do this?"

"Yes. I've always wanted a little shop to run, nothing special, just something to keep me occupied. Its a great feeling to be running your own shop and just getting people into their day with a cup of coffee."

I chuckle, knowing the feeling he spoke of.

"I love it. I love that feeling and I'm excited to go down there and trying out a nice cup of espresso. Now, tell me about your shop."

So it went on. The friendly banter was so fake, so forced. It was nice, make no mistake, but it wasn't a conversation.

It my job.

I write up the interview and submit it. That'll get a nice two fifty for me, a bit more than usual because of how small the site is. They need me. Hopefully they keep needing me.

My mind flashes to Jaime as I take a quick break. A smile comes to my face without my knowing. I glance at his picture.

Its a nice feeling to know someone loves you. It makes you feel warm and safe.

Time ticks by. I finish my last interview and glance at the time.

Its time to pick up Jaime. In fact, I'm almost late.

I stand up, stretching the cricks out of my back. It doesn't

 It is now midnight. I sit at the dinner table. My laptop in front of me. I cry. Tears drip onto the table. Sometimes you feel like you cant do it. It's just to much. Sometimes the demons take you. The demons torment you endlessly, especially at night. At night, when you are all alone, when you are by yourself with not a single soul to protect you. When your a kid you have your mom and your dad to love you, to hold you when your scared. When you grow up you have no one. Your parents are dead, your wife is dead. Your brothers and sisters live hundreds of miles away. You have no one.

I slowly lift my teary eyes to face the computer screen. Monday. Today is Monday.

Tomorrow is Tuesday.