Mother, dear mother into the night I must doze, for there’ll be much to do when the night’s in repose!
But Romeo, it is daytime!
Alas! You are correct. Yet I still cannot tarry, my lady awaits! Sweet Juliet!
But Romeo, you have no lady love!
Alas! Right again, though it pains me to admit it. Yet I still cannot stay in this blessed place for many lessons I must complete. Off I go!
But Romeo, you are a schoolboy no longer! That time has flown along with your childhood. Hand in hand they went!
Alas! You are unmistaken! But I still cannot sit with you in our humble abode for I must be off! Many challenges await me on the field of play, for I must show my peers that I am better than they!
But Romeo, you have already proven yourself!
Alas! It seems I can tarry. Good morning, dear mother, of chores I have nary!
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139,286 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Hello! I'm SecreteJournalist, but feel free to call be Brie. I am just a wee bit late, but welcome to YWS! You seem to be navigating the site pretty well(: I'm going to review this with a list (I'm obsessed with lists lately) of Pro's and Con's. I hope this helps you, I apologize if it doesn't!xP
But enough with my rambling, let's get onto the review.
Pro's:
1.) Well first off, the title actually did pull in me (the reader) pretty well. It's one of the first things we read before selecting an work to read or review, and you did a great job on choosing an title to pull the reader/reviewer's in!
2.) The flow of the poem is spot on. It didn't seem forced at all. It had a much more natural word choice, yet with a hint of humor.
3.) Your grammar, punctuation, and spelling is perfect. It's pretty hard to find that in some poems but you did it! Hat's off to that.
4.) This poem put's in some thoughts not many people would think of while reading 'Romeo and Juliet'. The creativity has made me smile, thank you for that!
5.) My by far most favorite line in this poem is;
It was an nice ending to the poem. I will make sure to like this poem after I finish my review!
Cons:
1.) The only suggestion I can really give for improvement is maybe put quotation marks in where they speak in either Romeo or Juliet's perspective, it might help organize the poem just a little bit more.
Overall, great job! I enjoyed this poem(: Keep writing, I would love to read more poems from you!
Sincerely,
SecreteJournalist
AKA
I don't get it
at first he acts like a man in love then a child going to school and then a kid doing his chores. which is he??? I know that this is an alternate of the real Romeo but it made no sense. If it was made into an alternate Romeo and Juliet story I don't see how this version could fit. 
I'm sorry for being so harsh but good luck and maybe look it over again and see how you can change it to make it the best that it can be 
p.s. this is a reveiw i hit the wrong button 
The story is about romeo trying to make different (and sometimes not very good) excuses to try and get away from his mom. In the end he gives up.
oh okay now I get it more thank you and good job
mkay
Aha! This gives a more cheerful and happy retelling of Williams work! I smiled I even uttered a chuckle! I love the way this is short and sweet. It almost feels like a breath of fresh air! I can feel it in my lungs! Bravo bravo! Beautiful work! I hope to see more soon! Good job 15253! Compared to the story titled 'a murderer' you have a very diverse way of writing!
Thank you