See What I've Become

Hi.

I like the intertextuality of this work - although I'm not sure how heavily your words rely on the original song. Although, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It can be fun to experiment and recycle ideas. I think you do this well. The ending is very final.
The only thing I would say is that the work is very melodramatic, which works, but even though it's a poem I would have preferred to see a more 'show' approach rather than 'tell.'
Good work though.

This poem put me a bit off-guard since it was not what I expected. That's a compliment:) I really liked your poem especially since it describes perfectly reality. Sometimes people get lost in living in a world with their friends and technology only to later realise that everything is fake apart from a few exceptions. Reality is sometimes hard to face but it is better to face immediately than to make things worse.

Great job

This great. As I began to read this I felt like I could every emotion put into this peace. I've never heard the song before, but I don't think I need to in order to understand this. You put mile high stack of emotion and I can interpret everything. I don't know very much about grammar in poetry, bu it looks fine to me, and appealing in format. Congratulations!

Congrats on the spotlight! This is great, and you deserve it!

wow.whoever you are you seem ti have deep trouble inside u.you are in a dilemma a thought keep you as an enemy for yourself.anyway nice poem.

Wow, deep sh*t.

The immensity of the troubled language you used was far from incredible. The context of the poem? Amazing. I'm getting that the perspective in which the poem is coming from is a depressed agonised one. The guy is just fed up with the injustices of the world or something, I dunno.

Randomly, this also made me think of Lucifer the Angel who was casted from heaven down to hell, becoming Satan.

No idea if that is in any way connected to your poem, but hey, my mind is mad. Haha.

brief but deep. congrats!!!