Seasons Come, To and Fro

Hey Rainn! Nice to see you on YWS again.

I like your first stanza. It sets up a really nice idea. I do find it's flow to be interrupted by the shortness of the middle line, you might want to play around with this to see if you can find a wording that flow better. I really like the third line, I dunno why. It just sounds nice.

I feel like how you portray spring in the second stanza is kind of cliche, at least compared to portray the other seasons. The second line not as much as the first. This stanza has the same weird feel to it as the first, probably due to the fact that the middle lines are shorter then the first and last in each stanza.

I like the first line of the third stanza. I'm not one for the heat, so I always think of summer as kind of dreary and slow. The way you describe summer in the first line doesn't replace what I always thought, but instead works along side it and makes it better. Good job on that.
I'm not sure what I think of the second line. It's flow is fine, much better then the prior two stanzas. But it just doesn't feel the same as the rest of the poem. I guess it's just that your poem has a rather magical feel to it, and that line sounds kind of normal. It's not actually a problem or anything, I just think it could be better.
The third line doesn't seem to really fit with the rest of the stanza. That is probably the hardest part about vilanelles, if you plan on writing them on any semi-frequent basis you should put a good bit of practice into this.

The fourth stanza is my favorite. Probably because that's how I actually feel in autumn. The second line has an odd feel to it like in the last stanza, so if you decide to change the feel in the last one you should do this one too. I like how the last line almost seems to imply a sadness to see it leave but it doesn't actually say that and a lot of people will probably interpret it differently. I love finding things that have undertones that can be interpreted differently from reader to reader.

I don't really feel anything with the fifth stanza. It makes sense, but it doesn't pull at my attention like the other stanzas did. It's the type of thing I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't just read the rest of the poem that was actually really good in this aspect.
Again, the third line doesn't seem to fit right.

This last stanza is a good closing to your poem. I like it.
The one thing that bothers me is that this and the beginning are the only places where "change has a commendable flow" really fit in. If I where you I would take some time to think of other lines I could put there and see if you can find one that would have an overall better fit.


Overall I really liked this poem. It's not often that you find a poem that talks about all four seasons without being ridiculously long. So good job on keeping it short.

I hope to be reading another poem of your soon! Keep writing!

I do not agree with your first Statement.
//Decided to try writing a Villanelle. Don't think it turned out very well, but eh//
I thought It came out Very well!!!! Much better than my poems!!! I think you did a wonderful job. And your grammer was perfect (as far as I can see) I really hope you keep writing and I would LOVE to read more of what you have done!!!! I for one, am not a very good writer. So, of course, I think of you as a role model!!! Keep the good work up!!!!!

Hello! Dogs here and really I thought this was a good poem!

As you say before the poem starts...

//Decided to try writing a Villanelle. Don't think it turned out very well, but eh.//