Young Writers Society

Great, pretty poem, and it really captures and describes the indeed odd and sublime aura of winter. Twice you say "Silver like is frosted leaves" but the second says "Silver like its frosted leaves" so I'm wondering which is a mistake, unless they're meant to be different. I like this poem, it flows, it has imagery, it makes me reminisce of my own winter memories, and it has a subtle, nice selection of words. I read another poem of yours, Silent Moment, and they were similar (nothing wrong with that unless you're making too many similar poems, which you're not) but I liked this one more. For one it had a bit more length, but it was just a more appealing piece for me. It's lovely, and I'm going to read your "To Creativity" piece next.

"Silent as a mournings chill."

I think you meant "morning's".

"Silver like it's frosted leaves."

"It's" should be "its". It's means it is, so you're saying "silver like it is froster leaves". Its is the possesive, which is correct in this line.

Also, this confused me a little.

"Winter can be sweet,
Yet charmingly strange.
A magical time,
with very little fame."

I feel like you should rewrite it so that if fits in better with the rest of the poem.

Other than that, I really liked it. It was pretty and made me smile. But, I feel like you should try to keep the same rythm throughout the piece. Sometimes it feels like it changes rythm,. which ruins the flow of it.

Love the use of descriptions.

Great job! Overall I love it!

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews!!

This was very good. I loved the ways that you described winter. It was wonderfully refreshing and beautiful. However, I do have two things to note.

"Silent as a mournings chill." Did you mean this to be "morning's"? It seemed a bit out of place otherwise.

Also, this stanza seemed to trip me up a bit.

"Winter can be sweet,
Yet charmingly strange.
A magical time,
with very little fame."

Throughout the piece, you did a good job of rhyming and keeping that steady, but there didn't seemed to be any sense of rhyme here at all, and that tripped me up a bit.

Aside from that, though, I truly loved this piece. It is beautifully written. Keep it up!

I love it, I can't think of anything els to say.

I didn't really see anything wrong with this. Your conventions, imagery, layout, and voice were done spectacularly.
However, your flow was a bit bumpy. I suggest you use more words with more firm enunciation. With the syllables ending in constinants.
Other than that I really enjoyed reading this, you did a great job at connecting with the reader.
My rating:9.99/10
Keep writing poetry!

w&w

Wow another one of your poems that I liked for the same reason as the other two. It's sweet, and this one actually was my favorite so far because the imagery was so beautiful and perfect. Perhaps it would have been better to post this sometime during the winter (not that it's your fault) because summer is so well on its way it's hard to pull yourself out of here and now and feel lulled into the beauty of this poem that is about winter.

Once again, I love your voice. This time the rhymes are nearly spot on. The one rhyme I did not like, however was the one about "Fame" that didn't feel like it fit in at all really, and like it was just a space occupier.

Love your poems! Big Fan,

-Phantom

That..was great. Can't even describe it, amazing.