Morning Star

I felt compelled to read this, haha. But this was great! All I can find to criticize about it is that last line. It left me confused as to whether it was a love poem written to someone, or if it was a throw-away line. It's very lyrical to me and it came out as a kind of song in my head. It's a really good piece and it would make a cute lullaby.

Love the poem Rainn!

I loved the vocabulary and the rhythm of it, it would make good song lyrics. I liked the subject too, of the morning star. For a little poem you wrote quickly it's great! However I would like a little more in quantity, just because I really feel I need to know more too have a little clarity. Don't get me wrong, some poems can be a few lines and be brilliant but for this type of poem I really would just like more verses so I can read more emotion from it.

I would love to see more of it!

Keep Writing!

-Speedy Pencil

hiya Roxy here!

Cute little poem here! but I feel like it could become something truely great!

You should give a discription of the morning star, describe its beauty, how it feels to have it shine on you.

Why does your heart need to feel the morning star? You seem to really want the morning star. The reader becomes very curious but you don't give any answers.

"I can't see the sun,
Nor the great moon."
If you cant see the sun or the moon, what can you see? nothing? or something?

"But I see the morning star.
Surely like you."
How did the morning star appear to you? How did its appearance affect you?

Just somethings you could think about, but it is a cute poem!

--Roxy