Young Writers Society

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews!

Hi Rainn,

I like this piece a lot! It's a nice sweet poem that was very enjoyable to read. I like the concept of putting the thing or object the poem was about at the end. Usually, putting the object at the end gives the reader a clear message of what you were trying to say throughout the poem. I am not too specific with grammar, and nothing really stood out to me that was anything real major. Awesome poem!

the only thing I saw was here,

She swims so smooth,
Not barely a ripple,
Moving with grace,
with beauty.
When I'm looking,
And when I'm seeing,
I am always calm and content.
So when I'm mad,
I should be glad,
Fore I see a Swan.

you spelled for with a E.

Okay all, I edited it. I changed some things to flow better. Let me know what you think!

Hello,

I like this poem. It's sweet. Some of the rhymes are quite nice. The last stanza doesn't flow quite as well as the rest of the poem though. It's just slightly off, however, so there isn't much work that needs to be done to fix it.

On another note; how exactly are you lucky enough to see a swan enough to know how nice seeing one makes you feel? I can't even remember the last time I saw a swan ^_^ Swan's are also the bird of love, btw, because they find one mate and mate with that single bird their whole life.

You also wrote "Bird" when I think you meant "Birds" plural. I'm a swan fan too! Keep up the good work

My edits are in parenthesis
"I look at a mirror,
My reflection I see.
I look at the sky,
Bird swoop joyfuly. (joyfully)
I look at the trees,
Swaying by and by.

I glance at the moon,
Shining bright in the sky,
I take chance at a star,
Gleaming in the night,
But when I look at a swan,
Grace is all I see.
(This stanza seems different because it doesn't go along with the rhyming pattern you had in the first stanza)

Swiming so smooth,
Not barely a ripple,
Moving so gracefuly, (gracefully)
so beautifuly. (beautifully)
When I look at them,
When I see them,
I'm always calm and content.
So when I'm mad,
I'll take a peek,
At the swan. ( At a swan)

Her feather so white, (With feathers so white)
Her beak so clean,
Her heart as pure,
as a freash water spring. (fresh)

So when you're down,
When you're sad,
When you're mad,
Or even furious,
Just take a look,
Take a peek,
Or take a glance,
At a swan."

Overall I enjoyed this poem and the theme. But I suggest you either make the rest of the poem with a rhyming pattern or you change the first stanza. Also all my edits are just suggestions and this is a complete review because I'm not sure what you want to change. If you love your poem just the way it is then you shouldn't change it in any way because it's yours but if you are open to changes I suggest editing this piece. Thanks for posting I really did enjoy this, good job!
P.S- if you want me to do a complete review message me and I'll be glad to.

Hi,

I think this is your method to relieve.

The flow is quite smooth and relaxing. Love it.