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140,222 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
Hello! I believe you messaged me asking for a review of this piece, correct? So here I am! I really liked this piece of writing and I liked how it was arranged. I like the indentations of each paragraph. Although, one cool thing to do may be to have the last paragraph not indented, because, if I am not mistaken, the tone is different in the last stanza than the first few? If I'm wrong then just ignore me, but just an idea! Good job!
--Hockeyfan87//Jenn
hello, It is quite deep. I like the idea you put there.
This is what I think the story of the poem is:
One is hidden in the shadows by greater people. One wants to be like the important people, one wants to be noticed. But when is noticed, one does not like the attention. One doesn't want paparazzi. So when one grows old, one is forgotten, and one is happy.
I think this is the message you are trying to send is:
What you want, isn't what you need.
I really like this poem. The word choice is AMAZING. Your making me go out and search the meanings of certain words. I don't think that you should change anything. It is absolutely perfect.
Wow....Thank you!
Why are my comments being posted multiple times?
Hi there!
I have to say, this was a pleasant surprise! I really enjoyed reading this. My favorite things were your vocabulary. The vocabulary you used here was colorful and it helped create a picture. As writers, one of the things we strive for is creating a mental image. In this case, you did. In addition, the ending was sweet in comparison to some of the other stanzas, which is always nice. I don't really have anything else to say, to be honest, except good job.
Wow So you posted this 4 hours ago, and no comments?!?!! (haha) Ya know, this poem is really good! What I really liked about it-is that I think you described something that almost every person would wanna be!
Oh, and welcome to YWS! 
But usually, they can't really describe it...but you did! YOU described something that a lotta other peeps can't even really understand, -non the less write a poem about it- themselves..(I'm saying like when you feel like you can't even understand yourself) Did that make any since?..Hope so! :p Well, ya know, that wassa really nice poem!
Hope to see more of your work soon!
Thank you!
No problem!
No problem!