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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
I really enjoyed this poem! It was nice, smooth, and overall very easy to read! I agree with your main statement that you continued throughout the poem 100%. There was only a few grammar mistakes and some suggestions that I have for it.
I think you could have said " you just might make amends" and switch just and might around , which ever you like more.
You could have said " man" instead of " men" since it sounds like you are only naming one of the fox and hare.
This was a great poem and I hope I helped, great job!
M'kay, thanks.
I totally agree with the moral of this poem! I liked the unique layout of this poem, however, the rhyming scheme was awkward to follow, simply because it was all over the place! Either way, I absolutely LOVED this poem, and I would like to read more of your stuff.
As for grammar
1- "Wether it be a big Trombone"- it should be 'whether' and 'trombone' doesn't require a capital.
2- "To those who listens to lifes song,"- you don't need an 's' on 'listen', it makes no sense. Also, it should be 'life's' song, as it is a possessive.
3- "Fore why do you"- probably just a typo, but 'for' doesn't have an 'e'.
4- "Death becomes for everyone,"- this makes no sense, try something like 'Death comes for everyone,' that makes more sense.
And that is it. Again, this poem rocks! Keep writing your awesome stuff!
Zoe
Thanks
I'll take a look at that suff...
Okay, so right away I could tell this was the same writer as the one who wrote "Look at Swan" even before I spotted your avatar (which you might want to change by the way because it's set to default)
This is a simple poem about music and how it is all around us. You write about those who can hear are gifted above those who cannot. Throughout the poem you repeat the stanza "Music lives in everyone, the fox, the hare, the men" to emphasis the point. I do think that you should change "the men" to singular form "the man". That sounds better to me.
This poem as the same, lite feeling that your other poem has, and I like it because of that.
Yeah, I see what you mean. I'll change it know, thanks