I was designed
to do so much more.
Just merely existing
is not what I was made for.
Some say we're made to "fight the good fight;"
that we were made to "pick our battles."
But more than anything,
I was made to travel.
We all were, I believe.
We all have that urge.
That sense of wanderlust;
the need to see the earth.
It's woven in our souls;
we're commanded to "go."
Every nation, every country;
every place that we know.
I want to spend my life
discovering strange places.
I want to meet new people,
and photograph their faces.
I want to share great stories,
and the things that I have learned.
And upon leaving, they will give me
bits of wisdom to be earned.
Then I'll take that newfound wisdom
to the next new place I go.
I'll teach the people how to live;
I'll tell them everything I know.
And once more, I will leave,
and take my new knowledge with me.
I'll take it to one more place,
then ten more, and then fifty.
This cycle will continue
until there is nowhere new to go.
And when I know I've done my job,
I will finally go home.
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139,487 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
You just about wrote my soul. Wonderful poem!
Hi, Rachel!
This is a really stunning piece, not because it's filled with flourishes and flowery prose, but because it is so straightforward. That allows the narrator's desire to experience and see the world to really shine through on a level that I think everyone can connect with. We've all felt like we need to get away at some point or another and I think you grasp that very well here. I also like the rhyme scheme you've drummed up, even though it's a bit broken in places, and the overall structure of the poem.
I especially love: "But more than anything,
I was made to travel.
We all were, I believe.
We all have that urge.
That sense of wanderlust;
the need to see the earth." This little bit here. It speaks to me, as a reader, and that's a very important characteristic in writing.
You've got the concept of wanderlust down pat and I like how you explore the different things you'd want to do on your excursion. Travelling is more than just seeing somewhere besides your hometown, it's about becoming something bigger and being a part of the world around you. You've done a great job and I hope to read more from you.
Hi there! What I like about this poem is that it sounds quiet and comforting, somehow. As if someone got up in the middle of a silent, dull room filled with people and calmly said, "I think we should do something interesting now." I hope that makes sense.
)
I especially like the first line, and also - well, I honestly don't have a favorite stanza. They all have an assured truth about them.
Now for some nit-picky things:
I feel like the rhythm was broken in some parts (as others have mentioned). For example:
"I want to spend my life
discovering strange places.
I want to meet new people,
and photograph their faces."
As someone else said, "photograph" doesn't quite fit here - seems too abrupt, perhaps? You might be better off with something like this - "...and look beyond their faces." That would be quite deep-sounding. Or "...and their always-changing faces." You could think of something better, I'm sure.
Another thing: some commas disturbed the flow as well. "I want to meet new people, and photograph their faces." That comma doesn't really need to be there (and it technically is grammatically incorrect, though style is more important, of course
Other places that don't need commas: "I want to share great stories,
and the things that I have learned." "And once more, I will leave,
and take my new knowledge with me."
And the final line, I feel, would be better off rearranged: Rather than "I will finally go home", "I will finally go home" seems to flow better, at least to me.
You don't have to take any of my suggestions, but I hope you find them helpful; this poem was lovely - thank you for writing it!
Oops, I messed up! What I meant by the second-to-last paragraph-thingy was "I finally will go home." (But I don't exist, so it doesn't matter anyway.)
Hi there! I'm here to review your poem =)
I really enjoyed this. I can't help relating to the speaker in the poem. Like them, I want to travel and meet new people. But I know I'd want to come home at some point.
I like these lines especially:
Especially where it starts with, "And upon leaving..." It's like you're saying, when you go somewhere new, you're bound to learn things you wouldn't have known if you didn't leave. You know what I mean? I hope you do, haha.
Anyway, I loved this. Just about everything about it. I don't have anything to offer, suggestion-wise. But that's because I couldn't find anything wrong about it! Haha. Don't really know if that's a good or bad thing. But anyway, yeah, you did an awesome job. Nicely done =)
I liked this poem, not merely because it reminds me of my favorite song, but because it has good rhythm. The steady 1212 rhyme system and the uniform verses almost mimic the slow lope of wandering. However if felt the line "and photograph their faces" fell a little flat. Perhaps it breaks rhe rhythm?
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!