I am my own enemy.

I feel this way all the time but I have never been able to put it into the words. It's a tough life because we think that everyone else around us is judging us and expecting us to be perfect, when really we judge ourselves most harshly. My favorite part of the poem is the last stanza, especially the last line. It wrapped up the poem perfectly... something a lot of writers have trouble doing. Thank you for enlightening me with your poem.

Hai! I actually remember reading this a few nights ago, but it seems like I've never got down to reviewing it, well. Never fear, I'm here!

*coughs*

Ok, let's get down to it. I'm going say a few things about the style and the content then I will give you my humble advice upon this poem. So, let's divide this poem into two halves, the upper three stanzas will be the upper half and bottom three will be the lower half. I'm doing this, because in the upper three stanzas in every stanza you at least used the preposition 'and' two times. Which overloaded to poem a bit and made it harder to read and not as smooth. However, on the other hand. The last three stanzas was concise, and were in my opinion better as the lines seemed more astute and sharp, like imagining fining something in black.

I could see the potential behind this poem, as it speaks rather intensely of our MC's struggling against her internal battles, the only thing is your use of vocabulary sometimes cheapens the poem, like the second line of the first stanza, 'tis sounded off, strange. Also, some of your sentences are quite literal too. Maybe you intended it this way, but then those pulls down the other lines that has beautiful imagery. So, you need to find a balance between the two.

Overall, I think this is a poem with great potential. Keep on writing and best of luck.

-S.s

I have to say I am amused by this poem largely due to its simplicity. However, some few things I didn't feel comfortable with:

''I pull, jerk, and tug,
but 'tis to no avail. ('tis' I get the feeling that the reason you chose the word is to keep the rhythm but its distracting given the fact that it gives an elizabethan style which isn't apparent throughout the poem. instead of 'tis' you could have just said, ''but to no avail.'')

My muscles are weak,
my body is frail. (The first letter of each line in a poem should be in capital letter. It's tradition. However, Americans poets often don't do this but it's mostly for free verse poems)

The color has drained
from my hollow face,
and these chains that bind me
hold me firmly in place. (This verse is beautiful.)

Long ago I was defeated and enslaved
by Fear, a cruel and ruthless beast. (I think fear should be in small letter.)
And after years and years of fighting,
I've yet to be released.

To this day, Fear consumes me; (here also)
my thoughts no longer my own.
With cunning, manipulative wit
he has convinced me I am alone. ('He'? I absolutely enjoy having fear has a 'she' it's emotionally satisfying. I am not sexist, it's just that there's this awe when you give a feminine nature to most concepts. Giving fear a masculine nature makes it basic lacking depth.)

And when I started to believe his lies,
they started to come true.
Now I truly am alone,
and there's nothing I can do.

My chains are held by locks:
freedom is all I truly need.
I've come to realize, however, that
I'm the one who has swallowed the key.'' (Perfect! Raw and subtle power).

This poem has this subtle beauty in it; innocence. I love the concept and the ending verse is spot on! Tend your flame! Temi

This piece is fantastic! I adore the topic and ideas you conveyed. The rhyming was nice, but for me it just cheapened something that could have been even better. If rhyming is something integral to your writing, then don't mind me. Content wise I wasn't too fond of "The color has drained from my hollow face." My original thought, was how does she know? If the character is chained she more than likely does not know what she looks like. If I were you I would write strictly from the point of view of the character. Use those two lines to describe the character's mentality. Otherwise, I adore this! Keep writing amazing pieces like this!