As the clock strikes midnight
the gold and glitter fall down,
and a deafening roar erupts
from the masses on the ground.
It's a time of celebration;
an excuse to start fresh.
A reason to carve out our troubles
and to work with what little bit is left.
A new year, a new beginning:
this is what we're raised to believe.
We believe that in the matter of a minute
we suddenly are capable of reaching our dreams.
But what if this time
I'm content with things?
What if this year
I don't want any change?
I refuse to make empty promises
and resolutions to myself.
Rather, I will embrace what comes to me;
I'll play the hand I've been dealt.
So happy New year
to those with no desire for change.
Here's to hoping that things
will always stay the same.
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,752 Reviews
Hi RachelLeeAnn,
I love the imagery in the first two lines. Those lines immediately created a festive mood.
Also, the word "excuse" in the sixth line is a good choice in my opinion. Really, January 1st is no different from any other day in the Earth's orbit around the Sun. It shows that really, we could make resolutions and start fresh any day of the year. The same is true for "empty promises" because many people don't keep their New Year's Resolutions after a week or two.
In the twelfth line, i think it would flow better if you said, "we are suddenly capable" but that is only my opinion.
I also like the attitude of being content with the narrator's life at the moment. The tone is very well-done and thought-provoking.
Great job!
-Lydia
Well this is actually quite good, although it's quite late. Though it was long ago ( five days ago ) reading this makes me feel like I am back at first of the new year two thousand and fifteen January first.
One thing though, try and make a few paragraphs, so one point is separate from the other. That way, your poetry will be much, much more neater.
Last of all your poetry, it's this verse:
What if this year
I don't want any change
I refuse to make empty promises
and resolutions to myself.
It's a bit wrong. Try this:
What if this new year,
I do not make changes?
What if I refuse to make the empty promises I made,
and all the resolutions not to them, but to me.
There, that should be better.
Thank you though ( if you read through the whole thing ) for reading. I hope you improve, and if I made any mistakes, sorry for that,
SO LONG!
Could you elaborate on your opinion on the verse and the importance of your changes?
Sorry, I always mess up with elaborating ideas. I kinda switch around like spaghetti. That's one of my worst weakness in writing.
first of all happy new year...it is a reallly good effort
Now, I have to admit 2014 was by far one of the worst years I've had, so I may not be the best person for sympathy here.
But despite all that, I still have to like this! It's a relatively original idea and twists the typical idea of "Begone, last year, let this year bring happiness anew!" into something a bit more optimistic and less defeatist about the past. Especially since that idea being brought up every New Year rather implies that every year is disappointing, but hopefully the next one won't be. I can definitely empathize with that! It's always seemed a bit silly to me.
Your rhyming and rhythm is for the most part very nice, though you do stumble in a few places, especially with these three stanzas. It's all quite easy to polish up, though.
For the first two stanzas, there are an excess of syllables in the last halves. I'd suggest "To work with what little is left", and since "We believe" is redundant you can easily shave the second stanza down to something like "That in the matter of a minute, suddenly we're capable of achieving our dreams".
As for the third, "things" and "change" don't really rhyme, perfectly or imperfectly (to be clear, I adore your use of imperfect rhymes throughout the poem as they're much nicer to the ear than perfect rhymes), so I'd suggest finding something else. It seems like they would rhyme imperfectly since they both seem to have an "ng" sound at the end, but in reality the g in "things" is silent.
Also, you should either go with "New Year" or "new year" in your last stanza, though that's a fairly minor quibble.
Overall, this was a very cute little piece about a unique perspective, and I liked it! You did fairly well at pacing your ideas smoothly throughout the poem, and the voice of the narrator was clear and consistent. Good job, and keep writing!