In a room with white walls
filled with machines and monitors
she lies there lifelessly,
waiting for the doctor.
He comes in quietly,
and closes the door.
Clearing his throat,
he walks across the floor.
She cranes her neck toward him
and looks him in the eye.
"How bad is it?"
She's trying not to cry.
"The test results came back,
and it is definitely broken.
It will probably be a long time
before you can ever love again."
She clutched at her chest,
feeling the fracture.
She felt the pain in her heart:
broken, cracked, shattered.
"It's a lot to take in,
but it will heal in due time."
He patted her shoulder
and she started to cry.
"I'm prescribing to you
what I think will help.
If you follow directions,
you can fix it yourself.
Remember to laugh,
at least ten times a day.
Also, find yourself a friend
who will listen to all you say.
Find something to make you smile;
something that brings you joy.
A hobby or an interest;
fill the new silence with noise.
Have a healthy amount of tears,
whether from anger or from sorrow.
Give yourself permission to grieve;
and then repeat this tomorrow.
Slowly, but surely,
you'll notice yourself healing.
Your heart will never be the same,
but you'll get used to that feeling.
You have to try, though.
Don't expect it to fix itself.
Yes, time can heal,
but trying is what helps."
She nodded her head.
"I understand."
He reached over
and squeezed her hand.
He then exited the room,
and only she was left.
"I can't promise I will heal,
but I'm going to try my best."
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,752 Reviews
Hello!
Just stopping by to say: I absolutely loved your poem! Amazing!!! It really touched me. Keep up the good work.
BiancaLU
Hi, here to review
Wow! I really enjoyed this poem. I feel that it got better and better as you went along.
"In a room with white walls"
that was a fantastic way to start. Immediately you're making people want to read on by making the setting a mystery. We want to find out where this is set.
"He comes in quietly,
and closes the door.
Clearing his throat,
he walks across the floor."
I particularly liked this line, as you establish a good pace. The "clearing his throat" part also makes the scene feel a little tense, as though he is anxious about something.
"She clutched at her chest,
feeling the fracture.
She felt the pain in her heart:
broken, cracked, shattered."
I love how this stanza is free verse. It makes it seem more soulful than the others, and less in keeping with the pace. The last line is very effective, as it makes me think of sounds as well as pain, as you use quite hard sounding words.
Overall, basically, I really liked it. It was a great read. Keep it coming!
Hey There.
Oh My God. All I can say is, I wish I could write like that. Capturing the essence. Getting the reader glued to your piece. Not wanting it to end. EVER. And the feelings.
I don't know how you do it. But I hope you keep doing it. This was just AMAZING.
I love this stanza:
"The test results came back,
and it is definitely broken.
It will probably be a long time
before you can ever love again."
And this too:
He then exited the room,
and only she was left.
"I can't promise I will heal,
but I'm going to try my best."
You've done such a brilliant job of explaining the pain.
All that I can say is, Excellent.
Harshita
Hey, rothwise here!
Sooo let me start off with the title. I was intrigued by the title, since it was longer than most usually are. But that being said, I think it's just about perfect for what follows, because it tells me exactly what I'm about to read - which I appreciate. Oftentimes lately, and I'm guilty of it too, poets can name their pieces ambiguous titles like "Thoughts" (for example) and then it's unrelated to the rest of the piece, so I actually like how long the title of this piece is. Okay, that's probably enough on the title.
The rest of the poem! As I was reading it, I had mixed feelings about it. I think it's a lovely piece that holds a lot of truth to it, but I wasn't quite sure what you were trying to do with it. At the start when I realized you were doing the four line stanzas with an ABCB rhyme scheme I was a little wary. As I read, though, I noticed that while you were sort of doing the ABCB rhyme, it varied a little, which I liked. It allowed for the poem to read more like a free verse and less like a rhyme, while still holding a solid structure to it, so that was nice to have.
I don't really have any negative critiques. I liked what you did here. I think the subject matter was taken in a realistic, yet humorous, route and that's refreshing to see. Your work always makes me smile, keep on writing!
Hi, I'm here to review =)
Wow, this is a beautiful poem. I especially love poems that tell a story. This would be a narrative poem, yes? I'm guessing it is; either way, it's still lovely.
I honestly wish I had more to offer than praise, but I simply don't. There's nothing I find flawed about your writing, which is absolutely amazing. I think the title is more than fitting.
Keep writing!
Hello, Sarah here. You have yourself a wonderfully written poem. I love that you compared a broken heart with broken bones, and the similes are phenomenal. This poem really speaks from the heart, whether broken or whole. My favorite stanza is:
"Have a healthy amount of tears,
whether from anger or from sorrow.
Give yourself permission to grieve;
and then repeat this tomorrow."
because my brother recently died and I still grieve over it.
Very nice job! Keep writing.
*hugs*
Heyo! Laure here to review! This is a fine poem, and a wonderful simile too. Very accurate and beautifully written and is very touching. The reason I like this poem is because even though it speaks of heartbreak it still has a positive side to it at the end and I love the imagery you have created here. Comparing a heart to a broken bone.
I will point out some of my favourites here:
I really like what you've written in there, because it really speaks about how a broken heart wind never be the same again and you can't just expects it to heal. Wonderful poem you've written there!
-Laure
RachelLeeAnn!
SandraYuo here to review your work.
It is a wonderful poem. A beautiful translation of thought and care to words. I found it to be simple yet riveting.
The beginning holds a lot of complex emotions and its nice that you gave some thought in describing them. Your poem ends on a very positive note. And I am sure every person understood it no matter what stress they are going through.
The poem made me feel more relaxed. It was very comforting and warm in the end. A lot of people have been hurt to a great extent because of negative emotions. And this poem will bring light on directing energies to do some of our best works. Your work offers great support to the readers.
I love your poem and keep writing. You are wonderful at it!
You seriously hit the nail on the head with this one.
This should be published in a book about trying to heal yourself. This poem made me feel happy and like someone cared. It starts out like it was going to be kind of sad and depressing, but it switches around in the end and brings hope to the one who's heart was broken.
I love when the doctor is explaining the cure. Most of this is entirely true (I've been through my fair share of heart breaks, like we all have) and I commend you for putting it all down so simply.
The structure of the poem was a bit...I'm not sure how to put it. It's not as mature as some of the poets on this site are, but I think that works to its advantage. The simple rhyming scheme makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. It makes me feel happy. Which I think it should do. It's encouraging and light.
Thank you for this poem, it makes me feel better about how things will turn out in the future.
***MissAtomicBomb