Hey Phil (I guess that's your shortened name XD) Incoming review!
I was looking through your portfolio, looking for something to review, and once I saw this one I knew I had to review it. I love beach imagery so here I go. I'll go stanza by stanza.
I understand using "leech" to say the beach is more enjoyable than a body of water leeches would be found in (e.g. rivers) but it's like how I would try to find a rhyme for the sake of rhyming. Sometimes its just better to say the words you wanna say rather than have them rhyme. I also found that rhyming "sea" with "see" doesn't come across too well especially if you're reading it out loud. Maybe something like, "A wonder sight for me!" could work.When you ever go to the beach,
You never come across a leech
The sunlight as it shines on the sea,
A wonderful sight to see!
I like this feel of this stanza. I can see the cloudy sky and hear the crashing waves, with so little words! And I've always had an affinity to "sea after a storm" imagery mostly because of the Princess Bride lol. But it's beautiful and I'd understand wanting to put it in this stanza!Sometimes when there's a storm,
Bigger waves will form
But when the storm clears,
An amazing sight, my dear!
I know what I'm about to say is contradictory, but the one-off non rhyme is off putting. It would be different if you would consistently have it be free verse or even have the line in the first stanza be not rhyming. But the part about the sun rising, sometimes it truly is a "blink and you'll miss it," type of thing. Especially with certain sunsets where you see the sun go down in real time. Truly gorgeous.To see the rising sun,
Waking early you've got to learn,
It's worth, don't you think,
To see the sun without a blink!
Aaand last stanza. Eeee I love the message here at the end. It saddens me to see beaches with trash on it. Beaches are supposed to be these beautiful places where we go to have fun, not pick up other people's trash. We gotta cherish the beach. It's a great message I don't usually se in poetry, don't litter.But please keep the beach clean,
Don't ever be so mean,
What nature has gifted us,
We must care more, not less.
But that's all I have for today. I hope you found some of this useful! I see this work has gotten a lot of reviews so I hope some of my critique was different lol. Anyway byeeeeee<3