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Young Writers Society



They told me

by Phillauthet


They told me, "Nothing rhymes with Orange"
And I took that as a challenge.
So I set off to scavenge
The words that rhyme with Orange.

I looked far for words in the range,
but the few I found were really strange.
So I thought I'd little change
my search's rhyming range.

Then I thought it wouldn't pinch
to stretch the scheme another inch.
So I found words, out of synch
with my original link.

Then I wanted to properly arrange
my words. I looked back to the long-estranged
order, slowly falling to a derange
And then I realized.

If I really wanted to break that bias,
I'd have to invent my own words.
I realized, there was a reason
they told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange"


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Fri Sep 03, 2021 8:54 pm
Valkyria wrote a review...



Hello, Phillauthet! Happy Review Month!

Valkyria here leaving a review for the checklist challenge!

So, let's get to it:

First off the bat, I thought this was a super funny poem. The subject of the poem and the direction it takes is completely nonsensical and I love it. I also love how it starts off rhyming with a certain number of syllables, and then it slowly gets more insane as the poem goes on. The last stanza doesn't even rhyme haha.

I realized, there was a reason
they told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange"


I love the last two lines. It's a perfect callback to the first stanza and the title.

Overall, this is a hilarious poem!




Phillauthet says...


Thanks for the review! Glad to hear it made you smile ^_^



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Mon Aug 16, 2021 6:13 pm
MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



I really liked this! Maybe my favourite genre of the poem is that children whimsy (maybe because it's the only stuff I understand.
This is my favourite bit:
[qoute]
Then I wanted to properly arrange
my words. I looked back to the long-estranged
order, slowly falling to a derange
And then I realized.
[/qoute]
It's very sing-songy
I feel like the only thing that could improve the poem, would end it with an absurdly long word which you made up that does rhyme with orange, but maybe that's just my childish want for silliness shining through.
Regardless! Fun easy read.




Phillauthet says...


Thanks for that!
That ending sounds really nice too, maybe I'll try something.
Just one thing... When you're quoting, use the tag 'quote' and not 'qoute'. It'll work then. Hope it's helpful.
Thanks again for the review!



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Sun Aug 15, 2021 3:32 pm
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NivedaJames22 says...



Hey Phillauthet!

I just dropped by to the comments to thank you for making me smile today with this hilarious masterpiece. I love the childish, lighthearted tone!

Have a wonderful day/night! (:




Phillauthet says...


Aww thanks!!!



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Thu Aug 12, 2021 6:30 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...



Hey there! This is a cool poem, and I like the lighthearted feel. I see the deeper meaning, though, and I think you've done excellent at conveying it without directly saying it. (Haha, that rhymes!)

Speaking of rhyme, you've gotten creative with that tool in this work, and I commend you for that. It doesn't seem like there are a lot of writers who venture into that territory. The third stanza, however, feels a little more choppy than the smoother lines of the previous stanzas. While still technically rhyming, for the most part, it has a more unstructured setup, in contrast to the nice structure we see above. Both can be utilized in their proper place, but it seems out of place the way it changes in the middle of the poem. But I know it can be difficult to keep rhythm and rhyme working together just right, so I still commend your work.

The final stanza completely breaks free from the rhyming you've used above. One might say that it doesn't fit, but given the topic of the poem and the underlying concept you're driving home, it seems that throwing away the rhyming might've been the point here.

Once again, you've done well, and I enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing. :)




Phillauthet says...


Thanks for the review!!
The choppiness of the 3rd stanza was intentional... Though now I see from your review that it doesn't quite give the effect "^_^
Reviews help put my work into the perspective of the readers, and yours really helped. Thanks! :D



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Thu Aug 12, 2021 4:22 pm
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Coraline wrote a review...



I love this! It's the sort of poem a child will grow up listening to in family dinners.
It's so random in the most perfect way. There is something so innocent about it. It's like a time machine back to childhood. But it also can be relatable in a way to a lot of poets. We try to find rhymes that sometimes we forget the point we were trying to make. Nobody expects a poem about how nothing rhymes with orange. that's why it's so wonderful.




Phillauthet says...


Thanks!



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Wed Aug 11, 2021 3:26 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Heyyyy! Forever here for a review!!

It's really sad that nothing rhymes with orange except sporange which rhymes perfectly with it. And I am glad that you decided to write a poem on that topic. It was excellent. I like poems which revolves around a pretty light theme( I mean which presents the readers with an account of things which are otherwise ignored) and yours was not an exception.

What you really did with the rhyme scheme? Like I can't find a proper rhyme scheme and if I am not wrong, you already noticed that. Now, was that intentional? Seems like that. In the very first stanza, I guess you were trying to rhyme words with orange. That was a good try indeed! The words nearly rhyme with orange but unfortunately, not ultimately. You have actually gotta invent some new words as you yourself told in the last stanza.

In this poem, you have captured something big. You have got the struggle of writers around the World for searching rhyming words and then writing a poem which makes a proper sense, which conveys a good meaning. It's hard, very hard, actually. Keeping up with two at the same time seems like an ordeal. I am really glad that someone has written on this topic.

That was all. Lemme know if my review was of any help and if you have any question, feel free to ask.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




Phillauthet says...


Thanks for the review! It was helpful to see my poem in a way I couldn't as the poet.
Yeah, the rhyme scheme was intentional, like I am trying to find rhymes, but I keep thinking it's okay and slipping off to slightly different sounds.
Thanks! That was actually the main base on which I came up with this, a writer's struggle. Glad you can see it.
Thanks again!



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Wed Aug 11, 2021 2:56 pm
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Kelisot wrote a review...



"Nothing rhymes in orange?" Well, whoever told you that must've been dumb, you literally wrote it all over the poem. I also love the rhyming in each stanza, while telling us your own story within your poetry.
And this really is a motivating poem, telling about breaking bias and stereotype. And sometimes, people need to invent their own words, but it comes with an interesting conclusion. If everyone makes their own standards and differences, how are we supposed to know each other? Why do people make standards that are biased, regardless of claiming to "justify" the actions of the Wicked?
This poem made me think a lot, and I loved it.




Phillauthet says...


Thanks for the review!
You get exactly what I was going for in this poem, it's nice to know :D



Kelisot says...


Thanks :)



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Wed Aug 11, 2021 1:34 pm
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StarGuardian wrote a review...



This is my first reveiw and I'm not sure if there is a specific way to do this but- I really loved this!! This masterpiece is entirely unique in so many ways! I can tell you put a lot of work into this, and I've never read or seen anything quite like this! I think you did a wonderful job in writing this, from the first stanza to the last, I really enjoyed this. Your rhyming was on point, the length of each stanza was also on point, and I absolutely loved the topic you chose!!

Thanks so much for writing, and sharing this with the world! :D




Phillauthet says...


:D
Thanks for reviewing! It means a lot to me.
There's no specific way to write a review, as far as I can tell. You just write whatever you feel about the work.
You are too kind... It wasn't thaat good "^_^
Thanks again!!



StarGuardian says...


Okay, lol thanks for letting me know. Your totally welcome! I've always loved leaving encouraging comments and stuff on things I've read. I wasn't sugar coating anything, everything I typed I meant! :D




Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
— Lemony Snicket