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The Cosmic Dragon: Chapter 4

by Necromancer14


Inside the Chicago-located I.S.U.E. underground base, Isaac was sitting at a desk, examining some statistics on a computer. He was attempting to find out where Unknown number one would strike next, just like everybody else on level three.

A group of people sped past him. Probably water leaking through on floor four again. I hope it’s not a flood like last time, thought Isaac, noticing their water-tight clothing. After they finished clomping into an elevator with their galoshes, he turned back to his computer and continued studying clues and behavioral patterns of Unknown number one.

After a while, he dramatically flopped backward into his chair, frustrated. There just isn't any pattern to the attacks, he thought dismally. They're at completely random locations.

He jumped as a voice blared through the intercom.

"All personnel who have had gun training on levels two through six go immediately to level one. I repeat, all personnel who have had gun training on levels two through six go immediately to level one," it said loudly.

Huh? I wonder what's happening, thought Isaac. He got up from his computer and headed to the elevator. He crammed himself in, squashed by a bunch of other people. The elevator dropped towards level one as Isaac desperately tried to avoid touching the other people in the elevators. The elevator stopped two more times on the way down, and more and more people shoved their way into the elevator, causing Isaac great discomfort. Finally, on the bottom floor, the elevator doors opened with a final ding.

Isaac hopped out, glad he didn't have to be in such close proximity to so many people at once anymore. He found himself in his boss’s office, a large room with several large video conferencing screens, along with a bunch of fancy-looking computers. On the largest screen was Donnovan Gaver, the owner and founder of I.S.U.E. He had short gray hair and looked about sixty, but his most notable feature was a large scar on his lip.

"Hello, everyone," he began in a gruff voice. "I have some excellent news. The I.S.U.E. unit located in New York has discovered the next target of Unknown number one.”

Everybody looked at each other, excitement on their faces. Of course, they were all much too professional to let any of their emotions show. They forced their excitement down and went back to poker face mode.

Mr. Gaver continued speaking, "Unknown number one's next target is a secret government project in South Dakota. This is a very important classified project that I am not at liberty to tell you about, but I can tell you where it's located so that you can capture Unknown number one before he destroys it"

He went on, "You'll find assault rifles in the Sioux Falls I.S.U.E base. I’ve already scheduled a flight for you at nine thirty A.M. so that you can get there fast enough."

Isaac felt really excited. Though he hadn’t ever been the best at using guns and had only barely passed the training program, he would be with a bunch of other, much more capable people who could do the actual capturing.

Isaac looked away from the screen to the door as his boss entered and began speaking.

“When you arrive at the Sioux Falls located base, you will team up with the South Dakota, Texas, and Utah I.S.U.E. agents already there. This is an incredibly dangerous mission, and I wish you the best of luck,” spoke Freddy Corker, Isaac’s boss.

Everybody left the room, feeling a good bit of trepidation.

Isaac stepped into the underground parking lot and walked over to his vehicle, his tennis shoes occasionally screeching on the smooth concrete.

He leapt into his gray Hyundai Elantra. After exiting the dimly lit garage, he drove to the O'Hare airport. At the airport, he, along with the other twenty I.S.U.E. agents, went over to the I.S.U.E's private airplane. The pilot let them in, and they took off as soon as they had clearance.

During the one hour ride, Isaac thought about the mission he was about to embark on. Nobody really knew much about Unknown number one’s strengths and capabilities, and Isaac’s excitement slowly began to transform into anxiety. When the plane finally landed at the Sioux Falls regional airport, he felt rather uncertain.

Everybody exited the plane, heading over to their base to arm up. The base was an underground, six-leveled bunker, almost identical to the Chicago one. Isaac followed everyone as they went down into it. The weapons were on level six, so Isaac had to endure another torturous elevator ride.

The South Dakota agents were already there and armed up. Isaac and the Illinois agents grabbed a bunch of the assault rifles, and waited for everybody else to show up. How come we don’t have any guns other than a couple of pistols at our base? wondered Isaac, confused by the unequal distribution.

The Texas and Utah agents arrived, and they grabbed the rest of the weapons. After they all finished getting fully armed and decently prepared, they went outside and began securing the perimeter around the “classified government project,” which was inside a large warehouse-type building. Isaac helped by setting up some security cameras. A couple hours went by as everybody completed their tasks.

Isaac was seriously nervous. He knew that Unknown number one was a dangerously powerful extraterrestrial, and that they should be on their guard. He was glad that a lot of the people here knew how to do this sort of thing better than he did. As all the agents got into their positions, he jogged around the building to his designated patrol. Around the huge building was a bunch of farmland growing corn and soy. He wondered if the farmers thought it was strange that there was a huge warehouse in the middle of the country.

Isaac stood on the South side with seven other agents. They looked as nervous as Isaac felt, who was super scared. I could die, he uncomfortably realized. He had no idea why he had been so excited earlier. This wasn't exciting; it was terrifying. It was now two in the afternoon, and as he stood there the blazing sun beat down on his neck, which unfortunately didn't have any sunscreen on it.

Isaac shifted uncomfortably, the rifle getting heavy in his sweaty hands. The only thing left for him to do now was to wait.


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Sat Oct 26, 2019 6:11 pm
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Dreamy wrote a review...



Well, that's one way to end a chapter.

Hello, there. This will be a short review. Let's address the typos first.

I hope it’s not a flood like last time, thought Isaac, noticing their water-tight clothing...


I see that your character does a lot of wondering, if his thoughts were in italics it will help the chapter read even more smooth. Just so that it will be distinct from your narration and you don't have to add 'he thought or that he wondered' when they are in italics. Just a suggestion.

The elevator dropped towards level one as Isaac desperately tried to avoid touching the other people in the elevators.


you don't need a "the" after "other people" here

and as he stood there the blazing sun beat down on his neck, which unfortunately didn't have any sunscreen on it.


He's an agent. I know his squad is getting a different treatment here and so it was really interesting and even comical to mention is neck with no sun screen. So futile yet so funny but I feel like you could have worded it better. Right now, all I want say is "REALLY?" but I really see potential with that thought so work on that sentence a bit maybe. I think it's the "unfortunately" that's bothering me; I'm not sure though. You decide.

Also, I'm sure you must have heard about the whole show vs tell part of the narration. If you haven't, here you go: Show vs tell

When Issac is anxious, you tell us that he is but I'd rather you show what he does when he gets anxious so the readers can connect or relate to him. He seems like a fidgety person, if you explain or show us how he behaves we don't have to assume and it'll give us a whole picture of who he is.

Overall, this was a good read. Keep up the good work. Keep writing!

Cheers! :D






Thanks for the review!



Dreamy says...


You're welcome! :D




I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights