“Why aren’t we out chasing them?” Alice asked Donnovan.
“Because, little Alice, Shadowscale will come back in an attempt to save his friends. And when he does, we’ll be ready,” he answered.
“Ah,” said Alice. They stood in the security room along with Donnovan’s top enforcers who were in on the secret of Donnovan’s true nature. A few of them gave Alice weird looks, and she guessed that it was because she looked like a freak of nature, with her green veins and patched-together skin.
Alice was next to Donnovan. She saw him turn to a burly guy standing on his other side. “Henry, is anyone in the machine right now?” he asked.
“No, sir,” was the hairy guy’s response.
“Well, why not?” asked Donnovan.
“You didn’t tell me to put anyone in, sir. I know how you don’t like people doing things without your permission.”
“Smart answer. Well, put someone in. I don’t care who, but we only have one of those things and we need to start getting super soldiers made, now that we know how to do it.”
“Yes sir.” Henry walked off.
***
Shadowscale flew through the air as fast as he could. He didn’t want to give Donnovan any time to prepare before he arrived. Unfortunately, that also meant he didn’t have time to come up with and sort of plan. As the humans put it, he was going to “wing it.” Hopefully Donnovan won’t overpower me again. If that happens, Earth is done for and I’ll never get back home, he speculated.
When he arrived at New York, he flew down from above the clouds and zapped down to Earth in his human disguise. He put on his pair of sunglasses and walked along coolly with his hands in his pockets. He came up to the stub of the building that was the I.S.U.E. base and walked right into the front entrance.
“Who are-” began an agent who was standing inside, but before he could continue, Shadowscale bonked him on the head and he fell unconscious. Shadowscale leaned down and closed his eyes, touching the man on either side of his head. Interesting. He knows almost nothing, thought Shadowscale, disappointed. He wanted to know what I.S.U.E.’s plan of defense was. Silly me. Of course Donnovan wouldn’t put someone who knew anything important somewhere where I could get to them and read their memories.
The dragon walked through a door and knocked out some armed guards before they knew what had hit them. He wandered around randomly knocking out random security cameras. Red lights began flashing and occasionally some I.S.U.E. agents would burst through some door and attack him. He simply knocked them out.
The reason he was wandering around randomly was because he wanted to knock out enough security cameras so that when he actually made his move, Donnovan wouldn’t know where he was attacking from. He closed his eyes and concentrated, focusing in on the location of Melissa Remington. Unfortunately, Donnovan sensed his efforts. Oh no you don’t, wyrmling, Donnovan said in Shadowscale’s mind, blocking him.
Thanks, Donnovan, I may have not known where Melissa is, but now I know exactly where you are, was Shadowscale’s reply. Donnovan didn’t answer. Shadowscale continued his process of destroying security cameras until he had destroyed what he thought was a sufficient amount of them. This is too easy, he speculated, thinking about the minimal amount of resistance being put against him. Oh well. It’s not like I have much of a choice, even though it probably is a trap.
He then had to figure out where to attack from. Donnovan probably knew this place from inside out, so if he attacked from a more “unexpected” place, well, it probably wouldn’t actually be very “unexpected” because Donnovan would be expecting him to come from somewhere “unexpected.”
So, he decided to barrel straight down the main hallway, which was the shortest route anyway.
Unfortunately, Shadowscale had been right that it was a trap, and he would’ve gotten killed if his excellent reflexes hadn’t caused him to teleport away from the exploding bomb. Really, Donnovan? he thought. A bomb? You expected to beat me with something so simple as a land mine?
That was when he realized that the area he had teleported to had some kind of special energy-wave disruptors to keep him from teleporting out. Oh no, he suddenly realized. This room was designed exactly like one the jail cells on his home planet, designed to keep even the most powerful criminals in. Donnovan, where did you get these materials? These elements are not found anywhere in this solar system.
Never you mind, weak little wyrmling, was Donnovan’s response. Shadowscale could sense the glee in the old dragon’s voice.
Shadowscale then asked another question. How did you know I would teleport here?
Because I put tele-magnets all over in this room. If someone mindlessly teleported, this is where anyone would end up if they teleported from within a ten mile radius, replied Donnovan.
Where on Earth did you get tele-magnets? They are extremely advanced Draconic technology that the humans aren’t even close to inventing yet, Shadowscale questioned.
That’s just the thing. I didn’t get them on Earth, said Donnovan. And no, I’m not going to tell you where I got them. Also, no, I am not going to let you out. You are going to be trapped here forever or until you die of hunger and thirst.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter The Cosmic Dragon: Chapter 16Points:
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138,126 Literary Works • 672,075 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night (whatever it is when you get around to reading this),
It's the last chapter. (Yaaay!!!)
Okay I'll get right to it.
First Impression: Okay this is getting slightly repetitive with how many time Shadowscale ends up captured. You'd think that he'd have learned a lesson by now. But apparently not. Still a great chapter.
“Why aren’t we out chasing them?” Alice asked Donnovan.
“Because, little Alice, Shadowscale will come back in an attempt to save his friends. And when he does, we’ll be ready,” he answered.
“Ah,” said Alice. They stood in the security room along with Donnovan’s top enforcers who were in on the secret of Donnovan’s true nature. A few of them gave Alice weird looks, and she guessed that it was because she looked like a freak of nature, with her green veins and patched-together skin.
Alice was next to Donnovan. She saw him turn to a burly guy standing on his other side. “Henry, is anyone in the machine right now?” he asked.
“No, sir,” was the hairy guy’s response.
“Well, why not?” asked Donnovan.
“You didn’t tell me to put anyone in, sir. I know how you don’t like people doing things without your permission.”
“Smart answer. Well, put someone in. I don’t care who, but we only have one of those things and we need to start getting super soldiers made, now that we know how to do it.”
“Yes sir.” Henry walked off.
Okay Donnovan is getting some development. Still I'd like to know his story a bit more. He seems the standard "I'm the bad guy. I'm evil. I want to rule the world"
Shadowscale flew through the air as fast as he could. He didn’t want to give Donnovan any time to prepare before he arrived. Unfortunately, that also meant he didn’t have time to come up with and sort of plan. As the humans put it, he was going to “wing it.” Hopefully Donnovan won’t overpower me again. If that happens, Earth is done for and I’ll never get back home, he speculated.(I wouldn't use speculated. This is pretty much a fact.)
Thanks, Donnovan, I may have not known where Melissa is, but now I know exactly where you are, was Shadowscale’s reply. Donnovan didn’t answer. Shadowscale continued his process of destroying security cameras until he had destroyed what he thought was a sufficient amount of them. This is too easy, he speculated, thinking about the minimal amount of resistance being put against him. Oh well. It’s not like I have much of a choice, even though it probably is a trap.
I like he figures out its probably a trap but still keeps right on going. Makes him much more likable as it shows his goals a lot better than anything he might say.
Unfortunately, Shadowscale had been right that it was a trap, and he would’ve gotten killed if his excellent reflexes hadn’t caused him to teleport away from the exploding bomb. (This seems a tad narrator-like.) Really, Donnovan? he thought. A bomb? You expected to beat me with something so simple as a land mine? (Land mine? In a building. I suggest you just go with a regular bomb)
That was when he realized that the area he had teleported to had some kind of special energy-wave disruptors to keep him from teleporting out. Oh no, he suddenly realized. This room was designed exactly like one the jail cells on his home planet, designed to keep even the most powerful criminals in. Donnovan, where did you get these materials? These elements are not found anywhere in this solar system.
Now these are some interesting new developments. Also a good example of worldbuilding done right without jamming exposition down the readers' throats.
Because I put tele-magnets all over in this room. If someone mindlessly teleported, this is where anyone would end up if they teleported from within a ten mile radius, replied Donnovan.
This seems a bit convenient but they work I suppose.
Where on Earth did you get tele-magnets? They are extremely advanced Draconic technology that the humans aren’t even close to inventing yet, Shadowscale questioned.
That’s just the thing. I didn’t get them on Earth, said Donnovan. And no, I’m not going to tell you where I got them. Also, no, I am not going to let you out. You are going to be trapped here forever or until you die of hunger and thirst.
More questions. And yet another perfect ending. I really love you're endings.
Overall another great chapter. I do hope you revise your earlier chapters to this standard. Those first few chapters are the crucial ones. This is really getting me interested in reading more.
As always not trying to be harsh. Take what you think is useful and forget the rest.
Anyway that's it for my reviawathon for the day. All the chapters done. *does happy dance*. Hope I was helpful. Please tag me when the next chapter comes out. I really want to know what happens next.
Stay Safe
Harry
Yes, this is just the first draft. After I finish, I'm definitely going to go back and revise things, especially, like you said, the earlier chapters.
Cool. Good luck!
Hi again! I was looking forward to a chapter update, so let’s go through the next events. I'm disappointed that Alice has turned "bad" and aligned herself with Donnovan. I mean, I get that she has amnesia/literally no memories of her past life, but I still felt bad that her personality was changed so much. I'll have to see if any changes are in her future.
I like getting the peek into Alice's current viewpoint, and seeing where Donnovan stands in his plans. Making more "alien-ified" soldiers is definitely the clear step in a kind of "taking over the plant" grand evil master plan, so that seems like a logical event to occur. I also wonder how soon these next soldiers will appear - even though the formula worked for Alice, I imagine more training/overseeing may have to happen to make sure that Donnovan really has control over them and such. Interesting thing to keep an eye out for later.
Next, we're going back to Shadowscale's view, in what I imagine might not be too successful of a rescue for all the scientists trapped at I.S.U.E., especially his buddy Melissa. This wasn't the smartest idea of Shadowscale, but he's definitely acting desperately, and I can understand his bad planning to an extent. However, that's not a great excuse when he's, at least at the moment, the best defense the entire world has against Donnovan, yet he seems to find himself captured quite often.
Shadowscale is going to have to up his game if he wants to keep up with the bad guy - but hopefully someone at either I.S.U.E. or Isaac somehow will be able to get back to HQ and rescue him. And, maybe he'll be able to get some information on what Donnovan is up to with the alien-modified soldiers. We'll have to see! Nice chapter as ever!
Thanks for the review! (I don't know why I haven't replied already.)