Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night (whatever time it is when you see this),
So I'm back for the second half of the chapters,
First Impression: ACTION!!! And good action too. This is so much better than the first time we got to see the dragon.
Anyway on with it,
As fast as he could, Shadowscale leapt into the air towards the helicopters, a fireball forming in his mouth. As he came closer, two missiles launched from one of them. Shadowscale dodged the missiles easily, only to find that they were turning around and coming back at him. He flew around the helicopter that had shot at him, and the missiles crashed into the aircraft, detonating. The remaining scraps fell to the ground. I wish I didn’t have to kill them. He thought. Then as the next helicopter opened fire with guns, Shadowscale felt his shoulder rip open, blood spilling out.
I like this. Shows the readers that he does actually care for humans. Despite his dismissal of them as puny he does not enjoy killing them and cares about them.
Shadowscale gritted his teeth, ignoring the pain. He opened his mouth, releasing a huge fireball straight at the helicopter, incinerating it, all the while dodging more missiles. As the missiles chased him around, he ripped another helicopter to shreds with his claws.
Here it would do some good to get a sense of scale for how big Shadowscale is. Or else we can't easily picture a full size helicopter being taken out by claws.
Also did that helicopter just turn to smoke?
“You’ve been brainwashed. It’s as clear as day,” said Isaac.
“No I have not! You don’t understand, he’s not the culprit-” argued the girl, Alice, but Isaac interrupted.
“He’s killed tons of people, Alice. Don’t you understand? He’s evil.”
“He’s been framed is what,” was the stubborn girl’s response. “Anyway, how are you even part of these people? You’re like, my age.”
“Donovan Gaver cares about ability, not age,” answered Isaac. Just then, the helicopter jolted. The girl shrieked.
“What was that?” she demanded.
“Unknown number one woke up. Don’t worry, we’ll put him to sleep again, he can’t do anything to you anymore,” Isaac told her. Why do I have to have this job? Why can’t someone else have the duty of calming this girl down? thought Isaac, already knowing the answer. He was young, and he didn’t look “scary” like most of the other agents did.
““Do anything to me”? He hasn’t done anything to me!” she yelled. “You’re so thick!”
Isaac decided to just ignore her. Unknown number one has obviously messed with her mind. I’ll just wait for a while and see if she comes back to reason, thought Isaac. Maybe someone more “scary” would be a good idea.
This is a really good and very realistic conversation for the two backgrounds these two come from.
“How did you find us?” she asked.
I like the way she says "us". It subtle and tells us that she's become more accepting of Shadowscale as a good person.
Isaac stood in the wonderfully empty elevator, heading to floor five. He arrived just in time to see Unknown number one being transported into the room via the H.E.R.D. (Helicopter Emergency Roof Door.) (Seems weird to have an acronym for a door but okay) He must be too big to move through human-sized passageways, considered Isaac, the closest he ever got to a joke.
Finally, there was a large, titanium muzzle put over his face. (That's quite a lot of titanium)
“Good. We don’t want him getting loose,” answered a man standing right in front of the table, looking down at Unknown number one. It’s Donnoven Gaver! thought Isaac. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised he’s here though. After all, this mission was(is? The mission is technically not declared as finished) our top priority.
“I find it interesting that it looks remarkably like a dragon,” said the scientist to Donnoven. “And it seems like one too, with an internal temperature of 1422°C.,(Very nitpicky point: This is America so you'd expect them to use Fahrenheit not Celsius) which is just barely hot enough to melt steel, though fortunately not hot enough to melt titanium,” he continued, staring at a screen.
“Blurg?” went Unknown number one. Then he seemed to realize what was happening. “Blurg!” he roared. He began thrashing against the cuffs, and the titanium muzzle began to turn red, with a wave of heat hitting Isaac in the face.
"Blurg reminds me of a baby somehow. Not a terrifying dragon roar. Might be just me.
Unknown number ones’ (Maybe use the creature or something. This unknown number one thing is a tad overused) muzzle began to turn orange, and the room got even hotter. After that, the creature shrank, and Isaac began to panic. It’ll get out of the cuffs! he thought. Fortunately, however, the cuffs moved inward and folded in on themselves, shrinking and adjusting with Unknown number one. When he was finished shrinking, Unknown number one spoke, not muzzled any more.
Cool tech those handcuffs.
“Uh-Oh,” said the scientist, just as a blue ball of energy appeared in(Huh? In his eyes?) Unknown number one. The ball rapidly expanded outward, wrecking everything it went through. Then, it exploded, sending agents and metal flying outward. Isaac was one of those agents, and he felt a sharp piece of glass stab him in the side, just as he hit his head on the wall and fell to the floor. He thankfully didn’t black out, but he saw lots of stars and dots. His head felt like he had just been hit with a bowling ball, and he couldn’t move his back, as there was the huge shard stuck in him that hurt when he moved. We’re all going to die, he realized.
Another example of great action.
However, Isaac didn’t die, (This feels like a narrator all of a sudden) and and a bunch more agents charged into the room and engaged Unknown number one, while others pulled out the unconscious and injured victims of Unknown number one’s energy burst.
What is he talking about? wondered Isaac. He can’t defeat an alien supervillain by himself.
Good insight.
Suddenly, there was complete silence. Nobody breathed. It's going to come out and kill us, thought Isaac. Then... crash! The door fell down, and Donovan Gaver stood there covered in blood, and the alien lay unconscious on the floor.
Ohh! I hope we get to see this fight later from Shadowscale's POV.
How did he do it? wondered Isaac in amazement. The question was in the front of his mind for the rest of the day, and though he felt relieved, he couldn’t figure it out. That was a feat half of the I.S.U.E. agents couldn’t accomplish with military-grade weapons. Who was the boss of I.S.U.E. exactly?
And as usual an amazing and catchy ending.
Overall I now have a new favorite chapter. This has some really good action and gives us some more info on Isaac and Alice. Also this boss. I have my suspicions but I suppose we'll find out soon enough.
Anyway the reviawathon continues.
Stay Safe
Harry
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