Alice had her memories back. After Isaac had shot Donnovan and ran into the room housing Shadowscale, Donnovan had gotten back up and touched her forehead. She had felt all of her memories returning; how she always hated her family and how she had burnt down her house in an effort to kill them. She also remembered how she worked for Donnovan Gaver in his evil schemes.
Recently, she now remembered, Donnovan had hand-picked her to be the first super-soldier in his army he was planning to build. Though the process would give her super strength, super reflexes, and a heightened focus, it would also temporarily remove her memories, he had told her.
She was glad he had stopped her from getting fake memories from Shadowscale. What had she been thinking? For some reason Shadowscale seemed more trustworthy. Though I suppose Donnovan did warn me that the dragon was extremely tricky and good at manipulation, considered Alice.
She stood in the room behind her boss ready to assist him in defeating both the large black dragon in front of them and the rebel, Isaac. Shadowscale loomed up high and his blue slitted eyes glinted.
“Donnovan,” he growled angrily. “I remember what happened in that room now that these cursed tubes are no longer stuck in me. I also feel my mind connecting with energy again like it’s supposed to.”
“Hm,” was Alice’s boss’ reply. “Well, if you remember, I beat you in this room before. I can beat you again.”
“You are the same species as me. How did you get here on this planet? In this galaxy even?” asked Shadowscale.
Donnovan laughed. “Never you mind, little wyrmling. Anyway, after I kill you, I shall conquer this planet with an army of super soldiers, using my DNA like I did with this girl here.” He pointed at Alice. “Who’s going to stop me? You?”
“I have to. I will not let you terrorize humanity. They are almost as intelligent as us,” replied Shadowscale.
“Don’t be a fool, Shadowscale. Their intelligence is much lower than us. Look around you; look at how terribly they are managing this planet. They are destroying themselves. I will enslave them and force them to realize how completely weak and pathetic they are as I restore this planet to equilibrium.”
“This planet can be fixed, but cruelty and force is not the answer,” protested Shadowscale.
“Don’t be foolish. Anyway, I will crush you now.” Donnovan leapt at Shadowscale with his hands and eyes blazing with energy and light, but Shadowscale disappeared in a flash of lightning along with Isaac before Donnovan could hit him.
“Where did they go?” asked Alice.
Donnovan closed his eyes. Then he opened them. “Not very far. Come, Alice.” He grabbed her wrist and they disappeared in a flash of lightning.
***
“Ow…” moaned Isaac, his hair sticking straight out from static electricity. Not that it was that noticeable at night.
“I apologize for the painful trip, Johnson. However, the alternative of leaving you there would’ve been worse, I assure you.”
“I know, I know…” the boy looked up at Shadowscale, and the dragon saw that Isaac didn’t quite trust him yet.
“We must leave. Your boss is another Cosmic dragon, so he can also teleport. The girl, I’m afraid, he has brainwashed.”
“I know,” squeaked Isaac. He looked quite terrified.
“You do?” asked Shadowscale.
“Yes. Donnovan had the same color glowing blue eyes as you which most likely wasn’t a coincidence, and Alice was standing behind him and her body language said that she was on his side.”
“You seem fairly observant,” noticed Shadowscale.
“I’m an investigator. What did you expect?” answered Isaac.
“Correction: you were an investigator. I’m pretty sure that you’re going to be fired.” Shadowscale looked him up and down. We really need to get away. Fast. I can sense Donnovan, well, sensing me. Or, more specifically, my location… realized Shadowscale. “Isaac… how do you feel about riding a dragon?”
“Um, well, sure,” Isaac looked like he was either terrified or excited. Probably both, thought Shadowscale. Then he sensed a blast of electricity as Donnovan teleported towards him. He telekinetically scooped up Isaac and dumped him on his back, right above his wings, and he leapt off the skyscraper that they were sitting on, and like a shadow, flitted through the air under the stars.
The sky was briefly illuminated as a lighting bolt brought Donnovan and Alice to Shadowscale and Isaac’s former location. Shadowscale heard Donnovan speaking to him telepathically. You can run, but you can’t hide. Not anymore.
Perhaps, but I’ll find a way to defeat you. Nobody is invincible, thought Shadowscale right back at him. He flew through the air for about an hour in complete silence, until it was broken by Isaac.
“What happened to Alice?” asked the young I.S.U.E. investigator, who was lying on Shadowscale’s back.
“Two things, maybe more happened to her. First, she was genetically modified. How, I don’t know, though I suspect, from what Donnovan said, she has some of Donnovan’s genes implemented into her somehow. Secondly, her memory was wiped. Donnovan probably did that, since he is another Cosmic dragon like me and we can do stuff like that to mentally flimsy creatures such as humans,” Shadowscale replied.
“I thought you said we were “almost as intelligent as you,” noted Isaac.
“Your intelligence may be remarkably high, but your neuron stability and strength isn’t. Can you move things with your mind, Isaac? Or read people’s thoughts? And are you immune to mental diseases?” challenged Shadowscale.
“I suppose not,” Isaac admitted. “Also, is “cosmic dragon” what you are actually called?”
“No, we aren’t actually called that where we come from. Since our species don’t have a name on this planet, I just made up that name since I came through a portal from my home galaxy. As for calling myself a “dragon,” I’m sure that that’s obvious.”
Isaac looked thoughtful, as if he was putting some pieces together. However, he didn’t say anything, and he fell asleep. Shadowscale looked up at the moon and sighed. He missed his home planet. Humans were good and all, but he wanted to interact with his own kind. He supposed that there was Donnovan, but he didn’t really count. I hope Melissa can rebuild the portal when all this is over, he thought.
As Shadowscale contemplated things, he realized with a jolt that Melissa and the other scientists were still back at the I.S.U.E. base. I’m going to have to turn around, he realized. First though I’ll take Isaac to his parents.
Shadowscale flapped his wings and changed direction, flying towards Chicago.
End of chapter
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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night (whatever it is when you get around to reading this),

Almost there. Two more chapters after this.
First Impression: We finally have the whole motives and plot down. I feel that we've approached the halfway point if not passed it.
So on with the review,
Alice had her memories back. After Isaac had shot Donnovan and ran into the room housing Shadowscale, Donnovan had gotten back up and touched her forehead. She had felt all of her memories returning; how she always hated her family and how she had burnt down her house in an effort to kill them. She also remembered how she worked for Donnovan Gaver in his evil schemes.
Recently, she now remembered, Donnovan had hand-picked her to be the first super-soldier in his army he was planning to build. Though the process would give her super strength, super reflexes, and a heightened focus, it would also temporarily remove her memories, he had told her.
I was just starting to root for Alice. She's going to make the villains rather overpowered here but I suppose this could open up a possible a side plot to get her back. Maybe?
Okay slightly confusing on the POV for this next part. But it flows okay.
“Donnovan,” he growled angrily. “I remember what happened in that room now that these cursed tubes are no longer stuck in me. I also feel my mind connecting with energy again like it’s supposed to.”
“Hm,” was Alice’s boss’ reply. “Well, if you remember, I beat you in this room before. I can beat you again.”
“You are the same species as me. How did you get here on this planet? In this galaxy even?” asked Shadowscale.
THEORY CONFIRMED!!! (*goes off to do happy dance*)
“Where did they go?” asked Alice.
“Ow…” moaned Isaac, his hair sticking straight out from static electricity. Not that it was that noticeable at night. (that last bit seems unnecessary to mention)
“Correction: you were an investigator. I’m pretty sure that you’re going to be fired.” Shadowscale looked him up and down. We really need to get away. Fast. I can sense Donnovan, well, sensing me. Or, more specifically, my location… realized Shadowscale. “Isaac… how do you feel about riding a dragon?” (This seems like overpowering the bad guy a tad too much but what works for you I guess)
“What happened to Alice?” asked the young I.S.U.E. investigator, who was lying on Shadowscale’s back. (okay why the sudden change. You could just say Isaac)
“Your intelligence may be remarkably high, but your neuron stability and strength isn’t. Can you move things with your mind, Isaac? Or read people’s thoughts? And are you immune to mental diseases?” challenged Shadowscale.
“I suppose not,” Isaac admitted. “Also, is “cosmic dragon” what you are actually called?”
“No, we aren’t actually called that where we come from. Since our species don’t have a name on this planet, I just made up that name since I came through a portal from my home galaxy. As for calling myself a “dragon,” I’m sure that that’s obvious.”
Now see this is the sort of exposition that is good to a reader. That previous bit would have felt much better if it had been conveyed like this. Good Job!
And that's it.
Good Job on the characters. They've become fairly unique. Only Donnovan sounds a bit cliched but I'm sure that's cause we have only just heard of him.
Once again I do like where this story appears to be headed although the fact that Isaac has parents is interesting. I hope you mention something realistic for how he ended up as an agent at his age.
As always not trying to be harsh. Take what you think is useful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Oh wow! I was hoping that Alice would align herself with Shadowscale, but I guess it might have resulted in a less interesting storyline, so here we have her joining with Donnovan.
With using "memory loss" as a plot device, there's a fine line with completely rewriting a character or giving a presumably possible result as to a character changing somewhat. I guess in the sense of I'm hoping Shadowscale and the "good" guys can eventually bring back her personality, as I thought she was sweet and this murderous version of her is a little scary. We'll have to see where that storyline goes!
I'm also confused because at the end of chapter twelve, Alice was readily fighting Donnovan in addition to all of the soldiers in the room. So, I don't know if we're given enough information as to why she would agree to Donnovan's opinion and taking in those memories, instead of simply fighting her way out of I.S.U.E. and saying "see ya later" to the rest of the building's occupants. Or, at least, since Donnovan could simply touch her forehead to grant her "memory" back, I don't know why she would automatically believe him.
I don't know if it's just me, but if I woke up with no memories, in some kind-of-sciencey lab with doctors and soldiers and other powerful beings claiming to know me, I might not trust anything that's given to me.
I'm concerned about where Donnovan's character can go from here - because he seems rather overpowered: destroying entire towns, running the I.S.U.E. organization, having insane powers including wiping memories, I guess, as well as melee fighting, and more than just that. Not to mention now that he has Alice on his side, who also seems crazy-powered. I guess it's good that Shadowscale also is a crazy-powered dragon.
I like the promise of a partnership between Isaac and Shadowscale, and maybe the scientists as well. Isaac was definitely my favorite character in this novel so far, so I'm glad that he hasn't been changed/mind-wiped.
I'm curious to see where this story goes next as the last couple of chapters were action-heavy and totally changing what I thought this story was going to head to. Let's go!!
HI! I am here for a review:]
I quite enjoyed you work but there are some places that you could improve on.
Firstly,you could use a little more show not tell,it will help i think...
but you did a good job in leaving a line on speech but try not to use too much or it will just be a speech story;]
second is that i think you made an error her.
I’m going to have to turn around, he realized. First though I’ll take Isaac to his parents.
Shadowscale flapped his wings and changed direction, flying towards Chicago.
instead,you should write
I’m going to have to turn around, he realised. First,I’ll take Isaac to his parents.
Shadowscale flapped his wings and changed direction, flying towards Chicago.
i hope i helped you in this review and good job on this book!
Thanks for the review!