Woot Woot!
positives
I tend to dislike repeating lines, but the "I do love to be outdoors" and "how I do love camping!" seem to work together well here. It might be because the poem is shorter and it wraps up the theme nicely, or it could be because the lines are both still quite simple in imagery but different in the areas where it is needed to be a little different.
And had no need for any toys
The narrator figure is entertained enough while camping, so they don't need other forms of entertainment - that shows they actually do enjoy the experience for the memories they'll have forever instead of something that has an expirations date; s'mores, mementoes that came from the journey, etc. are all temporary things.
I also find that the narrator's voice is very energetic, and that works for everything occurring here. That also would make it even harder to concentrate on the moments and not the things, I believe. I was like that when I was younger, and it honestly ruined a lot of fun experiences I can't do anymore and I am really envious of as I get older and older.
suggestions
I mentioned the toys line, but I must also say that I wish there was more to why they didn't need toys. I filled in the blanks and assumed that it's because of the fun they're having, but assumptions are often vague and incorrect in general. I believe lines can often create a mental scene, and the one here is rather bland and missing things.
I find that in "But not the abomination called glamping" too. The abomination factor is a nice way to show a dislike towards it, but why exactly do you dislike it? Is it the lack of originality? Or the fact some people who glamp are damaging the environment with all of the equipment they use? Is it something else altogether?
I think all kinds of versions of the questions above can be asked about any poetry really, no matter who wrote it or when they wrote it.
And now I'm done with this one!
Cheers! <3
Points: 85
Reviews: 218
Donate