in debt to you twice more

by Clarity

Published November 20, 2013

12+

In Poems/lyrics

What do I owe thee?
A rose petal twice more,
The midnight star, stolen
has caused The final fall.

With the sun's Halo
casting a Shadow
on the moon,
should thee

ever have to leave,
and be the cause
of Infinite Pain and
sorrow in heart;

she should weep
under the sky
and should pray
above the ground,

but should they ever
become aware of her
Absence and Silence
forever so loud,

then she should Escape.
She should untangle
her thoughts and seperate
them from her self Love.

Her final Saviour
should be Isolation,
not from the world,
but from her Own mind.

Comments & reviews · 4
beccalicious94 wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2013

I'm going to start out by saying this is one of the most powerful poems on YWS. You use vivid verbs throughout and draw the reader in to the narrative. I especially love the last line and it's implications. The only aspect of this poem I was confused about was the capitalization of nouns and what particular importance that had in every case (perhaps I am missing some key allusions?). Keep up the great work, and write on!

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littlesighs
Comment
littlesighs commented Comment · Nov 20, 2013

Wow. This is kind of genius. Get something published - in a poetry book or something. I mean it. This is really really great. Please never stop doing what you're doing.

User avatar
Freakette
Review
Freakette wrote a review Review · Nov 20, 2013

Wow, I really enjoyed the language you used in this poem. I also like that it doesn't have a rhyme pattern, rhyming poems aren't really my thing. Definitely keep up the good work! This is something I could see going into a poetry book in the future. :)

beccalicious94 wrote a review Review · Nov 20, 2013

I'm going to start out by saying this is one of the most powerful poems on YWS. You use vivid verbs throughout and draw the reader in to the narrative. I especially love the last line and it's implications. The only aspect of this poem I was confused about was the capitalization of nouns and what particular importance that had in every case (perhaps I am missing some key allusions?). Keep up the great work, and write on!

Thank you! And some of the words are capitalised because they are important to the poem.



You wake up in the morning and it feels impossible? Good. You do it anyway.
— Martin Scorcese