You gave me my first puzzle piece;
the one that never fit my jigsaw.
It was the one that tore my heart
into two wounded pieces,
the one that I struggled to find
a logical location for.
You see, it was the first, with nothing
to make as its neighbor.
This lonely piece of puzzle
found its own right of way.
Somehow I came upon the second,
another memory; I stitch.
While years passed, I added more
to my little box of thread.
The day my work was due arrived,
no more pieces for me to sew.
I added my last and final patch;
this one named it complete.
My patchwork quilt was finished;
my life, sewn through my memories.
Now darling when you sleep with this,
remember why it was made.
It serves a lesson, from a woman created
through mistakes and more.
My darling, make your own patchwork quilt;
but use a different thread from mine.
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140,079 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Hey Clarity!
I must say, this may only have a few reviews but I think you can tell by the amount of likes how much this work is appreciated! You've put a lot of thought into this and it tells a beautiful story using symbolism to show a mother giving her daughter a path to life which isn't taking it from her, but just guiding her. I loved those end lines.
At the beginning I got totally the wrong end of the stick. Reading it over I suppose you mean the voice here didn't have a good enough guide to life? There is one point when you go from her talking about how her life went and she built up on it, to her talking to her daughter. I believe it's in this verse:
I think I like it up until the last two lines. I feel like your just telling the reader this is what happened, time to move on and it's only there to serve as a move on bit. It's just a suggestion because this poem is pretty much perfect on it's own, but you could do it differently so it flows naturally and stuff. So I don't feel like I'm being told look here and see this, now look here.
But really, there is nothing you would need to change in this amazing poem. I'm just giving my small little details I picked up on. Looking forwards to more splendid poetry like this.
Deanie x
Really , really like this piece, as I do all of your work. Your lexis is just so deep and you use a subject to voice your emotion and thoughts and feeling but as your lexis is brilliant people can relate to this in there own way and visualize them self with an image created in their mind. It's just amazing that you have the ability to do this of the top of your head . Like I say great piece keep it up
Favourite quote:
"It was the one that tore my heart
into two wounded pieces"
Had a lump in my throat whilst reading it !
Thanks, Jake!
I loved this piece! It struck my heart's chords and played with my feelings perfectly! How you talked about life as a patchwork quilt, I found myself comparing our every step as a stitch; our ideas, plans and ambitions as driving thread through a needle. And our actions are like thread, holding our "patchwork quilts" together.
The poem flows really well, and it seemed to have a voice of its own, coiled with circlets of molten, sweet sorrow and teary childhood memories. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. This part especially:
Just ... wow. Yes, you have wow-ed me. I'm sorry this isn't much of a critique, but I can't find it in me to look for any flaws in your poem. It's just plain beautiful.
Keep up the fantastic work! Keep writing!
Cheers,
~Pompadour
Thank you!
Oh, this is so beautiful and heart felt. *sniffs*
The rhythm in this poem made it an easy poem to read and inflows really well. And I love, just absolutely adore how you have written this piece. Comparing memories with jigsaw puzzles and sewing them all into a quilt for your children. Is just so intimidating and especially the last two lines.
It just rings out a mixture of love, sorrow and regret. This is amazing, keep up the good work!