Art is his saviour,
his obsession
and life.
He stares
at the canvas,
thinking of his wife.
For long passed
was she now,
a memory in his mind,
the pain he felt
at time of death
turned his heart blind.
There was nothing
he could do, nor
could he say.
Not a word nor a wish,
could have
prevented her day.
But this man
was not the artist
you'd soon think.
He'd often spend
his days drawing, yes;
though, not with ink
His brush, a blade.
His canvas, his wrist.
The life he hoped to live
took too much a twist.
With his love gone,
his soul went too.
If his life was worth living...
why did he start anew?
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WOW! that was AMAZING! I didn't expect the twist with his wrists, that was very interesting. From the second I seen the title to the very end of the poem i was intrigued. Good job it was really good! and i cant seem to find any errors which is also good. A good piece of poetry or story or any type of writing is one where the reader can visualized what is happening throughout the piece, and i definitely had no problem visualizing the story of this troubled man.
Again great job!!
Thank you!:)
Woah. This is sad. For some reason when I read this I think of Vincent Van Gogh and all of the things he did to make himself happy. Like he ate yellow paint because it was so bright and colorful, he thought it would make him happy.
Anyways, I really love this. I love the sad complexity behind it. You did a good a job. Keep up the great work.
I really like this poem, it is really unexpected how the poem is turned in a matter of line. The ending is really ambiguous wich I love. the line: Took to much a twist. Should be: Took too much OF a twist.
I also like the Riming. Overall it is a great poem, although sad.
Brolington! I optimistically thought that you had wrote a hwlappy poem, but unfortunately clarity has strucj again.
I t was great came as a shock to me how quickly it turned on its head, and how it changed from happy to sad in a matter of lines.
Ithink it was really good loved it, it was really clever and quite powerful. Especially because of the impasct it has when you read it!:) fabulous!
Why thank you, Brolington!
The Messenger Knight here to review for KotGR.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you need a period in stead of comma after the word, mind.
you need an of in between much and a.
Altogether this rhymed pretty good, and there was only one place where it kind of slowed. Also, I liked how the stanza that ended with the word twist, had a different rhythm to it, creating a rhythm twist.
now, this seems pretty sad to me, and I can't tel from the end if the painter is going on with life, and not seeing the purpose if living anymore.
Keep it up!
Thanks! And I know "took too much a twist" reads a little strange, but I purposely changed the way I worded it so it worked better with the stanza, while still making sense. Thank you!