Today is winter:
Ice and snow glitter over
an Arctic landscape.
Today, my car slid.
Today, my bath-damp hair froze.
The snow sickens me.
Today it melted:
The snow - the sun is shining.
At last, it's over.
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Liked them, overall, I think you did pretty well for your first set of Haikus.
The only thing that caught my attention was in the second Haiku. The repetition in the second line was kind of off, because you started every first line with "today". I would have worded it "My bath-damp hair froze today" or "My bath-damp hair froze also". Maybe rethink that line.
Oh, now that I reread it once more: The punctuation in the last stanza was unusual. Not sure whether good or bad.
When we did Haikus in 8th grade I really liked them, but I haven't written any in a long time. Have you tried Tanka? It's like Haiku, only longer, 5-7-4-7-7 syllables per line.
I'm no expert at haiku's, but they made sense to me! I share the same feelings about snow-yuck! The best part about winter is when it's over! Keep writing!
-Butterfinger!